Sunday, April 5, 2015

Pssst....

Psssst.    Hey buddy...c'mere.  Let me tell you something...


You know, I have started everyday of my life with this list ...all these things to do.  Things for me. Things for my family. Things for strangers. Things for stories.

Stories.

So I start doing these things on my list, and on most days, I attack this list. I usually have an order I want to do it in....then some things happen.  And I get out of order. Then I spend the rest of the day trying to figure out how to get this thing, this list, back in order again. Cause I get to a point where the order just doesn't make sense.

Did I mention that I add things to this list all day long? The list really never ends.

Now, there are those magic days... that I just KILL IT. and I work non stop, and I feeeed on the success of one check mark after another. I am tearing through my life and having days so productive that no one else can possibly understand how much got done in that day...

Then I realize it was three or four days, and I just catnapped here and there. Basically worked 36 hour shifts, slept and hour and did it again.   Driven.

Then I sleep so peacefully for a day and I start over.

I will make the next list...it will take me a month.

And if I wasn't doing that list, I would be writing.  I would be creating this world inside my head, and I am not sure I would ever stop writing.   In that world, I never think of me.   Meanwhile, back on planet Earth, to some I appear self centered...maybe even narcissistic.   I really prefer to always think of others.   I study everything about others.

When I am writing, nothing else gets done.  It probably looks like I am doing nothing.  It must look that way, cause that is what I have always been told.    That I am doing nothing.  I have built an entire world, brick by brick, moment by moment, in my head, but if people don't see it, they think you did nothing.

So I do my list...and then none of the writing gets done.  The longer I go without writing, the harder it is to get it all out of my head and onto a piece of paper.  You see, I build the story in my head first.  I never STOP building the story.   So it gets sooo big, and I have to transfer it all to the keyboard, or the video or audio,  in the order that I built it, or I will lose something in the translation.

How do people think things are created?  

I have never been bored in my life, and I have never taken a day off.  

Have a great day and thank you for your time.
Mark Burkenbine

It's all around us.

 Jules Verne.  Nailed it.