The Coronavirus 2 Step

Hello. I'm Mark Burkenbine.   Today, my wife and I drove 30 miles for her Doctor's appointment, got some groceries and found no toilet paper in four stores. Drove the 30 miles back and as I'm unloading supplies, I look over and another tenant pulls a large pack of toilet paper from her vehicle.  Looking back, I was probably rude when I yelled, HEY, WHERE'D YOU GET THAT?  but she politely told me, and I said WHEN?  and she says this morning.  I think I said THANK YOU but I'm not sure. I'm just a useless eater, I guess it shows in times of crisis.  I took off for said box store, and there it was...not my normal brand, but not 1 ply either.  I grabbed my allotted 1 and raced for the front, hoping I could call relatives to buy the remaining 15 packs...but I heard at least a dozen people say HE HAS, or, IS THAT... TOILET  PAPER...and knew they couldn't get into town fast enough. I felt bad for my family, but I have to tell you....dragging the megapack of TP to the apartment is the closest I'll ever be to the feeling of dragging an Elk back to the tribe....or maybe it's a harbinger of things to come.  #HungryLikeTheWolf