Friday, November 10, 2017

Reverse. Something to ponder

I think we have the concept of these electronic devices a little backwards. 


Thursday, November 2, 2017

One of these days, I will tell you a strange story about all this, and all that. 

Sunday, October 29, 2017

First impressions. Just take the hit...

I have still never found a better way to know about people, than by putting your 'Stupid You' first.

Just throw the stupid right out there in the open, first thing you do.

Then, based on that, you decide whether you want anything to do with them. 

Thursday, October 26, 2017

Saturday, October 7, 2017

Art House

Art House. My life is red neck avant garde. Savoir faire is egregious to people that think texting in proper english is an insult.

Sunday, September 24, 2017

Barriers of entry

People will do anything to keep a 'sweet gig'.
Apply this knowledge to most obstacles.

Are you good at your job, or good at keeping it?

Friday, September 22, 2017

Values

It is cute, you know.

When someone with obvious, or even hidden...intelligence...does things so profoundly stupid...from your point of view.  

The answer to conundrums like this is....
 

values.     Individuals have different

Values. 

Thursday, September 21, 2017

prolonged exposure

I'm a ray of sunshine.

Protect yourself accordingly. You may need to get that lanced.

Monday, September 18, 2017

Vision.

I've got bills to pay. I want a new bowling ball.

I think I will start with getting my eyes examined.

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Thank you.

Your likes and shares make me feel relevant as a human being.

It is almost like a reward system...

Tuesday, September 12, 2017

machinations

social media is smart people meeting people who think they are smart.

Comedy/drama ensues. 

Monday, September 4, 2017

Notice

I have carefully crafted my entire body of work so it is NOT enjoyed by those who have no time for it.

Friday, September 1, 2017

Given a choice...

Fly like an Eagle. No. It is beautiful and all, but I am pretty sure gliding like a bumblebee is the way to go.
Think vibration. Frequency. 

Belief

Belief

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

stand up story teller.

I pull up to my next property inspection. It is an old house. Let us just call it a manor, as that word should give you an idea that it is large, old, and kind of spooky.  It sets between two businesses, which is an odd position as it is. I look at the due date, and decide I can skip it.
My wife says, did you see the cage on the porch.   I said, great. I hope the dog doesn't still live there. She says it looked like a monkey cage.  Or a snake or gator. I said I want no part of a monkey. They can rip your face off.  She says she will take her chances with a monkey, wants nothing to do with getting crushed by a python or a boa. I said that is just slowly going to sleep. You can live through getting your face ripped off.  My diatribe follows.
There are things you should not live through. 
I would like to think, if there are powers that be, that they have a list of things they missed. That these powers manifest themselves as a sign, and tell people that lived through something like that they can take you now, and take you quick, or give you a reward, kind of like an out of court settlement for their obvious error.   
and then , somebody with a bag over their head screams and runs out of the theatre. The person with them yells obscenities at me, and  that she just had her face tore off by a monkey. I said.....DUDE. Pointed to myself and said ASPERGERS. Do you know what that means?  Probably not. It means you just wasted yours, and my, valuable time. If she still had a face, it could be getting ripped off by a monkey while you are yelling at me. Jeez. My afflictions make my job difficult sometimes.

and then I woke up from my dream. 

Thursday, August 24, 2017

The apparent

It's cute how people still believe they can't be forced to think a certain way.
Most can.
Not immediately.
It's a slow drip kind of thing.
Think in years, decades, lifetimes.
Think in terms of advertising,  media, education.
Think beyond the obvious.
I'll say it again.
Many stupid things are brilliant when you realize their purpose was not what it seemed.

Predicate

I often wonder if an affinity for jello is a precursor to a long stay in an institution,  and if this is studied , can we pinpoint a diagnosis? Can we tell which facility will be the future host based on a favorite gelatinous flavor or shape?
My think tank is now seeking grants and other funding sources.

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

trending slightly sideways, slightly upwards

Life is amazing. I don't even recognize the idiot I was just ten years ago.

I am a completely different kind of idiot, and I hope this trend continues. 

Saturday, August 12, 2017

Civil

Civility does not mean you get your way.

Be very careful who you wish to take rights from. You may get your way. Your rights may also be next.  

It is funny how that works.  We always tend to think of our way, as the right and only way. 

It/They have had their fill.

the internet has been where most of the world has exposed themselves
in so many ways
we learned so much about the ways of the world
they learned everything about us

but when they shut it down
after all this rigmarole
it is because they have what they need
and have moved on to even more invasive procedures.

SRIMG

Notice the soft pastels...you are getting sleepy...very sleepy...when I snap my fingers, you will awaken and remember nothing, but incorporate the subliminals into your everyday life.   You are welcome. 

Tuesday, August 8, 2017

my compliments to the engineer

Whatever age we are in or becoming, it is being beautifully orchestrated, and has an intriguingly devilish puppet show.  



Tuesday, August 1, 2017

4 AM Legos

They have discontinued  our dogs dogfood. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. It seems she enjoys some of the substitute brand, but tosses the ones she disapproves of.  Just flips them into an ever widening pile that gets kicked across the room. It's a situation that is reminiscent of a child playing with legos and not picking up their mess.  Sooner or later, I -being a middle aged male, will have to walk across that floor to get to the bathroom in the middle of the night. We all know those blood curdling screams...the profanities...of hearing your father stepping on legos at 4 am. And you remember the pain when you repeated the genetic faux pas  when you stepped on them, explaining the situation to the officers on call who understood and were concerned for your safety. Of course,this always happens at 4 am. Nothing good happens at 4 am.
As I lay here in bed pondering the situation, counting the ounces of fluid I drank in before bedtime , I reason that stepping on dogfood surely isn't as painful as being impaled by legos. Maybe I need some slippers. Good slippers.
And with that happy thought of imaginary foot armor,  our hero drifts off into the world of dreams....

Mark Burkenbine  2017
Www.Allthingsburkenbine.com

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

Honor

Honor
is a unique thing.
It starts at home.
It starts inside.
You have to see it
understand it
& claim it as your own
before you
can expect it from others.

It matters
those things you
have done in the past
Honor
is always waiting for you

Perhaps no one
respects honor more
Than those who desire it
But do not possess it.

Honor isn't righteous
It's not.
It's just right.

It's not situational
It's not even free will

It's best to
find it early
But just find yours.
It's waiting. Still




Mark Burkenbine copyright 2017

Monday, July 3, 2017

Turn corners


Life

If I had a dollar for every time I am asked what it is I do....
The answer is always "I do not live your life"
I spent most of my life trying to satisfy and justify myself to others...and finally realizing they could not be satisfied....
Then I spent a mere four years at a job where everyone  I met was very close to the worst day of their life and I was an agent of bad news.
And I somehow started to enjoy life and do things that make me happy...enjoy time with happy people.  Help others when I can.
I may never write a best seller. I may never sell many creative works....others may never 'get me' enough to like my future videos or storytelling presentation, or even my comedic sensibilities.  
But I live my own life.  
This has been a stream of consciousness  social media post.   I'm Mark Burkenbine  and yes...I like vagina.

Wednesday, June 28, 2017

You are weird to?

Woke up early again. Right toe, right elbow and left heel barking. So I get up, do my rounds and think I will shoot over to the Golden Arches and grab some coffee and Sausage McMuffins. I hate to admit it, but a spicy orange sausage like patty with Nuclear orange cheese-ish is a weakness of mine. ( Slogan- It's so good you can taste the orange). but I decided to not spend money I don't have.
So I dig through the frig and see a bowl of hamburger and pork and beans. Perfect. Heat it up in the microwave (cause I believe we have to free the radicals) and take my first steaming bite and DAMMIT it's chili. I like chili but when you are expecting sweet and you get not sweet it's a shock to the system.
It made me go back to some of those surreal moments in life....like when I had my first surgery, a hernia that ended up being a tumor in my groin. The lady asked me if I had cleaned up the area, and I had not because I had not been told to do so. So she starts clearing the forest, and I feel this breeze. She was blowing the strays out of the area......did I mention my wife was setting on the side of the bed. This nurse was blowing hair away like a carpenter would blow sawdust off his guide lines. I am just staring at the ceiling thinking 'did that just happen?' Which is what I asked my wife and she was like " That is NOT ok"......and then I sang eye of the tiger all the way to the operating room. I woke up screaming in post op.
And these are the kind of memories I have when I want Orange sausage and cheese, settle for beans and hamburger and get chili, unexpectedly.
Yeah, you are weird to.

Sunday, June 25, 2017

second thought


Consultation

That's right. I am moving into the lucrative 'consulting' field. Being new to the business, I am hedging my odds and focusing on 'miscellaneous'. I looked at the numbers, saw an opening, and took it.

 Still working on a slogan.


Mark Burkenbine ,  your choice when needing consultation.
"If you lose your keys, I'm your guy"

I'm pretty good at finding keys.

Saturday, June 24, 2017

Industry appreciates a sense of humor.


When my main business of purveying original thought is slow, I like to bolster my income by doing field services full time. Always interesting. 


Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Things were different then...

I've had this chip on my shoulder ever since the lawsuit over 'The Secret Lives of Waldo Kitty" and those Walter Mitty people forced them to change the name to 'The New Adventure of Waldo Kitty'. Looking back, I know it was justified, but as an informed 7 year old, it really triggered me to be the unstoppable force of nature that I have become.

It didn't have to be this way.....

Toys in the attic

In the end
We are judged
Not for having toys in the attic
But did we let anyone play with the cool ones
Www.allthingsburkenbine.com


Friday, June 16, 2017

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Thursday, June 8, 2017

Sans Cheese.

Good to be back to work.  I enjoy the challenge of my particular field. Need to find a few more clients.   Field inspections/data collection/debt collection consultant/courier/eyes in the field/ SPY/Mortgage field services professional and some other choice words.

My way of dealing with the situation is this.


Tuesday, June 6, 2017

Sunday, June 4, 2017

Gibberish

Vision makes me look fat.

I know, but what do you expect from a man who has made gibberish his chosen art form.

In a room alone.

Meanwhile,  in a parallel universe, all alarm noises are on 24/7 , and you  wake up to bursts of deafening silence.
You pull over for emergency vehicles as you feel the oncoming pocket of 'nothing'.

“All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.” Blaise Pascal ,Pensees

I have spent much of my life in a room alone.

Thursday, May 25, 2017

One puzzle a lifetime.

1 puzzle a lifetime. That is my job. I build 1 puzzle a lifetime. I don't have to put it together.That is for someone else.
I knew what it looked like when I started.