Does Drama unfold, or ooze ?

Experimentation. When IT hits the fan

Narcissistic Diatribe.  My Specialty

For anyone that knows me...or is related to me(not necessarily the same as knowing me) my life is a simple deal.

My best at most things is pretty good.  Everyone has a lot of good in them and when it shows it is very similar to everyone else's good intentions.

When I am bad, I will not attempt to cover it up.   I am bringing it to you.

I value the relationships that hang together through the bad.  I generally could care less about the others..

This does not mean people I just casually bump into will get my rude side. Quite the opposite. If I do not know you well at all, you will get help carrying things, doors held open and general politeness.


If you attempt to know me, I can be a real prick at times, and I will wave that inner prick around and see what kind of reaction I can get.       At that point, it is all on you as far as how this thing is going to go.  

I treat the internet the exact same way.   I dump my crap onto this BLOG thing and let it seep into the internet septic tank.    I disregard all of the internet gurus information and teachings about how to be successful with your BRANDING, and your content.

I do not want 10 million followers that don't read word one of my CONTENT.      I want 500 followers that feel they know that messed up guy, and may actually trust me enough to believe , that on occasion, I may have an insight into a situation that makes them think just a little differently.   Maybe, I can present an issue from just a little different perspective.  

Or, maybe I can get them to laugh with a Dick joke or something.  

The internet is an incredibly narcissistic little place.   I can't believe all these people are on here trying to get you all to look at their stuff instead of mine .    The nerve.

There are an incredible amount of marketers trying to tell you exactly how to do it.   Hardly any of their success tips actually involve trying to be yourself.   No one is saying, your content is you. Not every one likes everyone else, the internet is no different than real life.  The important thing is to show your true colors, and you may or may not be successful based on their interest in you.   It is all about cold content, cold numbers, and doing what is popular.

Greatness has never been about being popular.   Greatness is about telling it like it is, and people respecting you for it.     Greatness has nothing to do with a number.     I promise you, there are people in your life that do not have an internet circle of 10000 pretend followers.  They have 5 real lifetime friends. If you are one of those, you may be on their personal greatness list--and everyone you have ever met that you told 'Chip' is a really great guy, will remember that and believe that because they could tell from the way you said it.          On occasion, some of these real people that a few people think are great, gets popular.  They usually change the way a few things get done, and they usually change things for the better.       That is greatness.   Sometimes, things are just right.   But you do not find the right people, the great ones, by letting yourself be swallowed up into a sea of colorless below average crap that is so bland, it doesn't even smell.

Hype.  Diamonds. blah blah blah..  I get tired of the constant talk of how the real stars shine.   The biggest and brightest.     Nope. More marketing from purveyors of shiny shit that doesn't stink.  Find the guy that has ideas that cause some trouble. That wants to do things differently.  Find the one that doesn't look as pretty, but something makes you think. Or the pretty one that says the QUOTE -WRONG THING - and means it.  

I hate it when people say 'this is how we do it'.....or that is NOT how we have always done it...blah blah blah.       I swear, it is the biggest threat to mankind.   Belief in order. Order gets manipulated into being a tool for the rich and powerful to keep the herd in line. Order in itself is not all bad, but a BELIEF in ORDER is manipulation. I am against  the shameless pursuit of doing things exactly the same and expecting things to get better, when things are obviously going the other way for somebody.  When things  are going the wrong way for someone....find the guy that is doing alright and you will find who is a big fan of this ORDER.

So ...back to the drawing board.  It is more of a drawing wall, and it is what I throw IT at to see what sticks.      Sometimes I throw IT at the fan, to prove my blow back theory.   I think If you throw IT at the fan, and it blows back on you....you have done it right.   When you are throwing IT, you shouldn't be afraid to get IT on you.       Watch out for those people that are afraid to get IT on them...they have a special way of watching out only for themselves.

P.S.  I do not claim to be great at anything. I am pretty sure I am not.  I am also pretty sure of how you do not achieve greatness....and it starts with trying to be like everyone else.   Maybe, maybe, being like everyone else gets you slightly successful.    If that is your cup of tea, good luck to you.


--Mark Burkenbine

NOTHING TO SEE HERE

GO OUTSIDE. Breath Fresh Air. Buy Nothing From Anyone.  Enjoy a real day.


Not sure if this public service message is for you , or for me.    Either way, it can be put to good use.

Why are you still on the internet?  Disconnect for awhile. Why are you still reading?




Take care, but get lost. I mean that.

Mark Burkenbine

Fight for your Right

Why do some businesses only have private bathrooms? Take a stand. Fight for your Right to POTTY.

I am not Electric.

My name aint Fester

I am NOT electric

Ive been asked If Im a doctor,
- evil
I said no and I  aint his
mini me
im just another bald guy
no hes no uncle, not even family

My name aint fester
tho i see the similarity
my name aint fester
I do not have the same polarity

I am not electric.  I am not electric.

That is not how we have always done it Syndrome. ( horsecrap for short)

Help stamp out 'this is not how we have always done it' syndrome. When you see this horrible disease in action, loudly ask WHY?

There is no known cure, but the question 'WHY?' seems to grant you temporary immunity.

This Is Not How We Have Always Done It Syndrome inflicts severe limitations to every phase of the lives of the inflicted, and those that come into contact with the inflicted, or the inflicted's work.

If we can eliminate this disease, curing cancer and other horrible diseases should be easy.  

You have to Fight. The question 'WHY?' may be your only weapon.

Thank you for your time

-Mark Burkenbine

Desperado Cover-mark burkenbine

just a guy with a phone who recorded a version .   Don't forget to donate to a charity close to your heart. If you cannot afford to give money, give them your time.

Mark Burkenbine-Change a Life 4 Better Album

Fire & Rain cover-Mark Burkenbine

can anyone recommend a phone

I am looking for a phone that will work in a pinch for shooting short films, videos, vines , and has as good as i can get audio and editing capabilities.

any suggestions?

punishment

By the end we will have been punished for our bad decisions. Not all of them. Just the ones that matter.

It will happen before your eyes and unnoticed, by you.

Then one day, It will hit you square between the eyes.

The canvas of your life, your masterpiece, has those little flaws. Flaws that others may not notice, but they catch your eye.

Once you see them, the glare just gets brighter and brighter.
Like the lights of a truck crossing the center line towards you on a rainy evening, on a winding blacktop road.
...and the rose colored glasses keep getting  thicker and thicker.

You cannot fix the flaw, and you cannot hide it.

And you see now, all that you have done. 

Mark Burkenbine ON PURPOSE again

Beware  the talking chin....what a summer..no. I do not expect anyone to tip.

My Twitter Update.

Some of the past week on twitter...only my comments of course. @burkenbine_mark
Isn't this Xciting? See how I jazzed that up for the younger adults with that X?


intent is everything. Intend for things to be ok

I have got to find a studio/workshop. SOOOO much to build.
I need MY chocolate factory. That didn't sound right. You know what I meant, dammit

Is there an academy award for best vine yet? Watch out for the 6 second version of The Remains of the Day. & My Left Foot.

Need to find an independent contractor in Kansas for delivery work, quality control inspections, or any other legit service? I am your guy

https://soundcloud.com/mark-burkenbine  about 20 new uploads as I slowly turn 800 posts into podcasts. Live from Scion XB mobile studia. Man it is windy.

hmm. yeah, probably too late for me.

So where are those websites that will pay for short stories and articles?

Fail? I and most of the world clearly do not share the same definition, or fear, of failure. Which really kind of narrows the competition

My advice 4 U. FEAR NOTHING! Fear devalues life. If you are wronged by a bad person, it is on them, not you. Stand up for what you believe.

a box of 100 Latex examination gloves..powder free,.textured....da da da da da doodoo. Sounds like a line from beverly hillbillies theme

a pretty good way of telling if your work has meaning. Would you do it for free?

Warhol's theory on everybody gets 15 minutes of fame , has , figure in inflation and depreciation ,been knocked down to a 6 second vine.

It has been udder chaos ever since

oh no i am losing followers again

It is ALL subject to interpretation. One mans 'set in stone' is another mans 'clear as mud'.


so is Golf, and most 'membership' organizations. It is a sweet deal they have.





5 retweets......woo hoo...en fuego says the social media candyman. I make the world taste good. Time to take out the trash.

I am trying to figure out a way to make my little entertainment biz somewhat less than free. What else can I give beyond the time of my life

Quirk. a way of life.

In 10 years , when ALL entertainment is free with no DRM, I will release my first collection for $5. bootleg will be punishable by death.
in 10 years at this rate, every entertainer will be a street performer working on commission. Court Jesters. Full Circle.
Only RIcky Gervais will still be making big money and he will have a show on every media.

the world can upload a video, then they could write in 140 characters, now a 6 second vine can be entertaining.
Next it will be 1 second frames, then flip books, then just a pic. Then just a stick figure hieroglyph.we R going backwards

To those that try to sell me 'followers' and 'likes'...I have no use for either. I had to sell my vanity on Craigslist when I was homeless.

The DIY craze is possible because the internet has let the cat out of the bag. There is no mystique to anything anymore.
Everyone has access to any type of education they want, for free. It is alive on the internet. No one is in awe of the trained professional
so the professional has a hard time charging, let alone overcharging, or cheating. Many occupations are gone. cheaper to replace than repair
cheaper to repair DIY or replace. Einstein was right. Everyone is a genius. but if you ask a fish to climb a tree it would feel stupid.
but nobody has to feel stupid with education on the internet.No illusion of magic left.
but ...many jobs are down the tubes. This is how the internet changed the economy. and the do it yourself will never stop.
Expect consumerism to continue to spiral downward...no income, and people will revert back to making what they need.
Wait til you see what can be done with robots and 3D printers in five years. The labor force will be almost unnecessary.


who was it that organized that Chipotles entire staff to quit? Shouldnt she/he be a CEO somewhere? takes skills to move a group of people
should be on a headhunter or vc watch list
Influence is a word that is thrown around loosely. That is a true display.
Influence is too often confused with manipulation. They are not the same.
as for falsely driving up your numbers....how does any of that increase sales, or influence?
seems it only perpetuates the lie to advertisers that you have so many viewers, but nobody is reading. or buying products.

If U R trying to keep track, i do social media like I am host a silent radio show.Blogs R a silent podcast. The best comedy needs explained.

and all my stuff would sound better if Garrison Keillor read it.

Warning! be very careful what you ask to be put in your face.

correct ingredients ,but with global warming Ikea furniture will grow in the dry river beds. Ikea 30%

What you NEED is a couple of BIG TWITS with personality.

I must be really bad at this

I open up the meetings with "I am Mark. I am a recovering bowler".
I had gone 395 days, then it happened. 6 games, 6 games,5 games, 6 games, then made it a week off and BAM! 6 games again.
I am now clean 3 days. and they are like, this meeting was to schedule events & the party committee for First floor, weirdo
I just felt dirty and a need to come clean.
.
retired.
Id love to throw a bowling ball and see some friends. but im going to work a lot and spend the time I have with my wife.

I think Im going to start building and selling palet furniture on the side.

only in todays culture can we idolize the ones that figured out how to hornswaggle people to buy what they really cant afford and dont need
Smart phones, tablets, laptops, a device that holds your music, ...you already had a PC that gets outdated every few years
now you want new phones to replace perfectly good ones..and now we probably do need them. life is geared at these products
everyone looks at sticker price...it is about the services you need, and price of replacements. Do the math.
Cost to OWN. Cell phones. rate plans. cars and maintenance. Maintenance You have to have done at the dealer. cost to own.
everyone looks at sticker price...it is about the services you need, and price of replacements. Do the math.
Don't get me started on interest and insurance.
The internet is the greatest learning device EVER. and free knowledge destroyed the trained professional. Do it yourself.
in your head, go through the people that lost their job over do it yourself. remember Email....how is the post office doing
Most of the world is being fazed out of a job. it is just beginning. Wait til robotics gets cheaper, & 3d printers kick in
Thanks for listening to my daily diatribe.

I just hate watching marketers lead the world around by there balls.
we give money to people that believe we don't know what we want until they show it to us.
Did you catch the typos? For each one that notices it, I have a "go F&*k Yourself-its twitter" award. Man, I need coffee
alright. I respect them for it. wish I could do it. just cant. bankruptcy just got discharged.wish I could just present...
me in a way that i'd be bought up front, then my owner would pay for my upgrades, apps and maintenance. Oh.hi mom and dad.
CRAP! I get it. We treat our phones like stolen kids, & we keep paying the companies to quietly keep us in pipeline. sick
every time you buy a phone, there is a momma phone screaming 'they took my baby take me. but she is discontinued. a breeder
I doubt I am getting any of that BIG SMARTPHONE advertising money....like I am sure THIS is the reason.
I will take me and my 6 followers and BOYCOTT the company if they don't start paying me to be a spokesman.
It is the American way.

So many faith leaders R in trouble for molesting boys and men. It is in the news all the time now.
you think the avg straight sociopath faith leader is thinking he has a green light on the females? attention is on theboys
just an observation. this country is so homophobic it opens the door to the real predators. Have a great Sunday morning

The life expectancy of a Hornswaggler in this country is now 40 years past what it used to be. Cultures of the past used rocks,rope & fire-
to keep this species in check. Now they get to right books and movies about how they did it, so you can be one of them. --
Now we are a whole nation of used car salesmen..they become CEOs, investment bankers and the best of the best treated as --
the next coming. We cant wait to thank someone for making life so much easier by taking our money for what we dont need.
if the herd realizes it happened, we are told we R responsible for our own actions. buy my book--dont buy shit u dont need

catch my free low tier entertainment at youtube,blogger,twitter,soundcloud,--Mark Burkenbine. Man about town.

ah the internet entertainer. We all grew up wanting to set behind that keyboard and wait for the heartwarming comments. We cherish the LOL.

Sometimes I read a joke that makes me laugh so hard I type L9L instead of LOL-That is keyboard for couldve made me blow my milk out my nose

you do realize you do not know what good or great experience is without a bad one. This is the entire premise of my internet presence.

Some would say it is my life calling to show you how bad things can really get. No, I am not one of the four horsemen.Silly

Watch Mark Burkenbine on the internet. This shamelessly cheezy bastard will slowly spread like a cancer til he is everywhere.R U Infected?

Tales of Woe.Bad Jokes.Radio shows in type. bowling. tiny houses. penis comments. Long pointless diatribes.- Mark Burkenbine. Pee yer pants






apparently , if you express your personal views on the internet, you may not get hired by someone that does not agree with your view. --
Isnt that how life always has been? That isnt an internet deal....you get hired because someone liked you 4 whatever reason
Life is just going to High School everyday. As long as it matters to you what others think, it will control you.
there R people out there who believe they exist to make someone do what they want, & there are people that want controlled
one is evil. one is stupid, but hey, I don't want to judge.


When you yell , all anyone can hear is you saying you don't know how to deal with the situation.

State of my Empire address

                                                          State of my Empire

So I am going over my entertainment conglomerate (that is a joke. No grandiose illusions here) and I see that my views, likes, loves, shares and followers still all suck. Good, Good. Playing into my hands. One day I will rule the world and NO ONE will see it coming. hahahahahaha.

In the meantime I  keep plying my crafts until I get really good at them.  I am but a blip on the blip that is on the gnats ass. 

Over on soundcloud, I have 477 plays for 39 uploads with one follower.  ONE.  Probably a bot. 

Twitter we are lookin' at 554 followers on 1773 tweets. 

Tumbler  a big fat 5 followers on 141 posts.  I post, I comment...I get no response. 

Facebook I have a whole 7 friends and mostly read what I follow. 

LinkedIN I got nuthin.  I post, and I comment on articles...I get no response. 

Youtube I have around 50 videos posted. 5 followers. just under 4000 views.

Myspace, I have 17 views. Only been on there a couple weeks, but so far nuthin'. 

Pinterest I think I have 2 followers, and a year plus of content posted.

Flipbook  I have a lot of content on, no followers that I know of. 

Reddit I have nothing on. Never figured out how to use it without getting in trouble. 

Reverbnation I have 8 songs on, with maybe 30 views and no followers. 

Radioairplay.  8 songs. 3 followers that I don't think are real. My songs get played 10 times total a week.

I think I have a Bandcamp account. 6 songs on it.

Google + I am looking at 471 followers and around 115,000 views. 

The all things burkenbine blog is looking at over 20,000 views. No followers of the blogs that I know of.

What would this be without a song is looking at around 2500.

Author Untimely Blog is looking at 800 views.

Marrying Amy is looking at 500 views. 

and so on...there are a lot of little blogs I mess with. 

Stumbleupon ...I have an account there that has done nothing. 

So there you have it.  I spend most time on Twitter, Google Plus, Blogger, Youtube and Soundcloud.  I enjoy Youtube and Soundcloud because I am slowly working into podcasts and videos as I attempt to start doing voice work. ( there are no easy fields in entertainment to get into)...using the rest as sort of script notes.   There is at least a regular podcast worth of material in here.  

I am sure I have an account here and there on something else.   Just punch Mark Burkenbine into the search engine of your choice. I am sure I will be there.    You may or may not like what you see. I have a wide variety of content and subjects. Some are very light, some are definitely going to offend someone.   

There are thousands of posts  to choose from to turn into podcast,video and live show material.  

Songs, Diatribes,social commentary, jokes, memes, quotes.....blah blah blah.      

Holy Crap.   I really am my own social media marketer.    Ugh. 

--Mark Burkenbine

Thank you for your time.  

marketing SOB

real problems

New York State Of Mind cover