Miscellaneous

 I'm sure you are wondering why someone would get into world building. 

Disappointment is quite a motivator. 

Angels aren't your friend, Little Timmy. For the same reason we don't hug Bears. Read the book again. 

You don't get to choose where you come in on the joke.

One persons loss can be another persons win. 

Try to fail up. 

Belief. Be Life. Be... 

Language is tricky. 

Yin and Yang.

How many states of water? Are you sure? Check carefully. 

(above) Obligatory Refrigerator Art by Mark Burkenbine

If you tell most people something that is technologically fantastic, built and in use, but not in the public eye or on the news.... Things that aren't even a secret...They will look at you like you are nuts. 

There are fewer and fewer impossibilities. Hmm. There may be an equation for that...

Exponential growth.  The accelerating change is palpable. 

Question everything.

Everything ends with a why even if you know how. For this reason,I call bullshit on everything.   Alert the press.

I love that everyone who reads my meanderings can assign a mood or personality based on how they interpret the writing.

I try to keep my voice bland and lacking influence. No salesmanship here. 

Note to self (It is all a note to self in an endless soliloquy)

Learn something you want to know.
Learn something you should know.
Learn something to increase a skill.
Just learn.

Now, do something. Fix something. Write something. Do something for someone else everyday.

Knee

 Ankle felt better. I tried to simulate a bowling approach to see if it's possible. The ankle said maybe...but my right knee protested loudly. It sounds like a creaky bed. You have to turn the sound up, but keep in mind there are three fans on, and phones don't catch all noise equally. To top things off, just doing this threw out my hip and back.  

None of it is as bad as my left hand. Last week, the lipomas (?) showed up overnight on right knee. Sunday night I wake up with a nodule on my LH middle finger joint, and a smaller one on the LH forefinger. Ring finger middle joint just keeps growing,  whole finger is worthless and whiny. Fingers are twisting. 

Health diary keeps moving on.

Don't you love TMI social media posts?  I don't.

Decreed

 The last dozen or so posts show all the telltale signs of the authors blood pressure rising due to life situations.( who doesn't have those?) It starts out somewhat creatively and meanders off to bonkers bullshit. While this can always be fixed through time travel, It has been ruled that the mistakes shall stand and let the punishment be what it may.  

Overall, the last few years of the blog have been considerably more consistent quality than the first six. 

Personally, I think when Author lets the comorbidities write the posts, it seems more true. 

Below...Obligatory refrigerator art by Mark Burkenbine

Oh NO. All my drafts have been published. Whatever shall I do?

 Ok. Not everything. A few dozen notebooks still remain 

OOPS. There goes the mystery.

 I am assuming we all type for the same reasons. 

We cannot, will not, or don't dare speak our mind,

This is better than nothing. 

Somewhere in this mountain of bullshit, there is something worth reading for someone who believes that it exists.   I hide it well so it has some value when you find it. 

Fuck the others.

 

Health Journal. It is an earned day. (That is a good thing.)

 

I'm breathing ok, and that is fantastic.    After the fluid on the lungs thing ,where it slowly sucked the life from me for half a year or so, you don't take breathing for granted.  You get a bit thankful. 

You might even throw grammatical caution to the F'ing wind. 

Actually, for a week or so, I have felt pretty good for my age, size, and the abuse I have put this meat suit through. Today, I can type with 7 fingers, even. Trust me, it is usually a painful hunt and peck...today it is just painfully slow, painful typing. 

Today I hurt like a small man that carried a helluva lot of bowling balls around, drove miles truck drivers can't log, worked with materials that obviously didn't do me any favors, and did a job for money that hurt and helped my psyche deeply. 

Other than the lipomas (?) , I know what I did to me to cause most of this stuff.  

This is a good day. 

But it creates the same result.  Some days I cannot move. Today, I am afraid to move. 

Because it feels good enough just to breathe, to roll over in bed without screaming. 

If you looked at me, you would never imagine that I am a physically, detrimentally hyper person. 

I am quite overweight, a homebody and a keyboard aficionado of the  Cliff Clavin school . In one sense, this is a success. 

It is a good day, so far. I shall hope not to ruin tomorrow by trying to walk today. Cause walking is good for me. I enjoy it. but somedays...it just goes badly. 

What others don't know, when they say it is the weight, or the age....is that I felt like I took the same beating when I was a kid. I just didn't know it wasn't normal. 

When I bowled as a kid, I did not road trip, jump out of the car, and pure it off my hand. I never knew what game I had until practice ended. My steps were different lengths...and I stretched often. I now realize stretching seems to trigger my worst flare ups. Probably psoriatic arthritis. It messes with ligaments. 

ramble on.......

Nothing but net

How's the weather

 I want to eat at 5. Sleep by 7. Get up 6 times a night to go weeee, and pretend I can still have  peanut  butter toast with hot coffee while watching the sun come up on a 50 degree morning in June.

Bugger Off.  My over medicated ass can't believe the 50 degree June morning is actually happening.

Sorry bout the language.  I've been watching the critical drinker and editing without me glasses on.

Knowbody Knows More Than They Believe

 Example..if most citizens of a certain dictatorship have never seen a map of the world and have no idea how people live in other countries,  are you sure those in a supposedly free country have seen an accurate map or portrayal or just an epic betrayal, of sorts?

It's hard to prove what you haven't been lied to about.

Look for odd wordplay. Doublespeake. 

rorrim a hguorht evil yehT

.smrah ti esoht yb detroppus si ti llew woh yb degduj eb nac margorp yna fo sseccus ehT

Passing Time

I was once asked

 by someone close to me

about happiness

I said I don't believe in it

That's a bad choice of words

I recognize it

when I see it

I like to know that it exists

I just don't pursue it

as others do

It's not on the to-do list

Chasing happiness is like 

playing to win

a board game

that we play to end

Beyond grasp

 Time, reality and sanity are fluid

They are one and the same

If not close relatives

It all sifts through those things you call fingers

Like trying to hug oxygen 

Yet more real than you and I

Happy Monday 

Deep sigh

 I suppose I'm going to have to be humorous and silly soon.

The old "discredit myself to control the narrative" ploy.

If you blurt out personal philosophy on the internet like a college kid that went on a bad trip, people give you as much space as you'd like. Sometimes, they'll even give you the space they'd like..

 Sometimes it's like I scribbled some equations, and some runes or sanskrit all over the walls 

Nothing New Under These Suns

 Life is a ghostly maze

We push along

going it alone

or following others

until we hit a dead end

The mind is also a ghostly maze

it repeats thoughts and ideas

as though they are yours

but there may not be anything

            truly yours

we trudge through the maze

looking for a way out

you would be the first one to escape

and it would require the unlikely

it may require

 the only original thought