It seems like I am fusing my other blogs into this one. I like it.

Let me re write this in a similar structure I have been using, so you either like it or hate it....I hope either work for you. I really do. I can handle being hated, if it helps you get through your day. That is what people like me are here for. We can handle it, and just want the best for you.

 My Wife just said 

I was funny. 

This is one of the few 

compliments that matters to me. 

I only wish 

a million or so 

others 

agreed,

for her sake. 

and by her sake, 

I mean for her, 

the kids sake, 

Grandkids, 

the in-laws, 

the ex in-laws, 

my friends, 

ex friends 

( could be a marvel franchise in and of itself) 

and various sponsors 

and acquaintances, 

and anyone 

that ever helped me in any way.  

The Words Escape Me/We Can't Escape The Words

 ...the words/Numbers are never what you think they are, if you don't know more.

All media/medium is a ...grimoire of sorts...if that's the right word.

Books, information, tv, film, radio...inscriptions on walls, artworks. Script. Code. Numbers.

Language itself.

Invoke...

Paying tribute to things You/We/Us don't understand.

Homage.

But everyone is so sure of themselves...

Look inward to go outward?

............

If you are attracted to a current news event, regardless of source, you should be wondering what you are being misdirected from.

...............

Fiction is the graveyard of truth

...............

Choose wisely...luck isn't what you think it is...but neither is wisdom.  

This is where you can imagine haunting, cackling laughter.

a different take

 When watching TV

or videos 

I often turn the sound off

and just use captioning

or just watch the screen

Many times 

I compare my thoughts 

about the images

with others

and they don't  quite line up

 with what others viewed / heard

Practicing what I preach

about how 

influencers/artists/directors/scientists/writers/programmers

magically 

paint the pictures 

on your blank pages

layers...

 That awkward moment when the hired help releases the 100 white doves as I enter the room, when clearly this is a 10k butterfly occasion. Peons

Truth and Pride tussle as you get closer to the end

It is not the easiest of things

to admit weakness

and at times 

helplessness

in even the most

ordinary 

of situations...

I was more competitive

than I would like to think I was

I would prefer to think I was meek

but some would say arrogant

some would say

I was an ass

but as I sign papers

declaring my ineptitude

for aid that I do not want

and probably won't get

to prolong my life

for a little extra time with my loved ones

I have an urge to ...

burn them. 

To stand up

take a few hobbled steps

to the fire

and burn the papers. 

To die 

as I should

Not asking for help

( help has always been available, at prices few won't pay)

but maybe

I can still 

help a little

Maybe, I still have a few days

I am more help, than burden

But...

nobody

wants to be more burden

than help

to their loved ones

Illusion of Confidence

 Tryin' to be my own man. Momma used to only put one slice of tomato on the peanut butter, miracle whip, bacon and tomato on toast. Throwing caution to the wind, and trying two slices of tomato.

It is hard to buck tradition, but at 53, I have to make my move.

----------------------

The claim is, that most people are not representing themselves accurately on social media. I wonder how many are closer to the truth on social media than they are in "real life"? Is it kinda like the nice guy that is a mean drunk?

-----------------------

Some people fall into lockstep.

Some just can't.

-----------------------

Catch my Yelp reviews where I take all my insecurities and frustrations out on every business in my path and yet happiness eludes me.

----------------

Gas has gone up, but that's ok.

We will teleport to the grandkids Birthday parties.

No carbon footprint.

I feel for those of limited means.

------------------------

As dreams are taken away

they will be sold back

-------------------------

Wife just told me about Goat Yoga. I said that cannot be real. She showed me the youtubes. I said we are now in the Goat Yoga business. She said nobody in the midwest is going to pay for that. Just hop a fence anywhere, and a goat could pee on you and jump on your back.

If you are lucky, that is all that happens.

Personally, I think it looks a little ritualistic...maybe even pagan

--------------------------

A month of Sundays is 7 and a half months, give or take. Most people can fix a lot in that amount of time. Some of us with more advanced issues, may need to rinse and repeat....often

----------------------------

Folks get pissy when you challenge their beliefs.

Nobody gets pissier than scientists.

----------------------------

A good man is punished in this world.

----------------------------

What am I to do?

----------------------------

If we are light and they take away our magnetic aura, are we trapped here?

Were we already trapped here?

IF this is a recycling soul trap, if we lose our aura, are we free?

Mater

matter

mother

Matrix (womb)

Matter good or bad?

Are we SURE we know who the good guys are?

Or, is being an eternal light being boring and bodies and life are for this vacation/theme park ?

------------------------------

Had to take the clean towels out of the bathroom and to the wash. The wife made something with heavy garlic a few nights ago. She couldn't find the smells that bothered her. Low and behold, it was the garlic scent in the towels. Loved it. That dinner was excellent, by the way...

-------------------------------

Closer to the end than I am to the beginning.

--------------------------------

Amalgamation

Looking at floor after being given a compliment

 The difference between a great writer, and myself, is that while I am capable of using run-on sentences to eventually point you at a story, I will be just as happy running you into another run-on sentence over and over again because, near as I can tell, that is what this life thing does, over and over again.

I lied. 

There was no compliment. 

Lawd Knows how some of you ended up here...

 But maybe there is hope for you yet.