Life steps on your manhood for a reason

 This is always an iffy day for me.

Fortunately, I will be out of town a few days

doing the traveling rituals

cleaning out the frig

laundry, packing

can't find the perish date on the vodka

I hate spoiled vodka when I come back from a trip

can't just throw it away

Final Destination- my new kids book

So much to learn...

Apparently, I am heavy. 

Heavy people shouldn't sit on the edge of the mattress

at least, as much as I do. 

You end up replacing the mattress 

more often

which gets expensive

for poor people to do

Apparently, I am poor. 

We were getting so beat up from the springs

I suggested 

taking those foam floor squares

and putting them on the bed

and she added seven or so blankets

and a four inch foam top

and it makes it workable

at least it is safe from bruising from the springs

but good news...

We ordered a mattress and platform

and I have a chair next to the bed

so when I wake up and contemplate what just happened

( Sometimes, I wake up cause I stopped breathing...

sometimes, cause of a weird dream)

I sit on the chair, instead of the side of the bed

but my nightstand got moved

and I was putting my phone, 

and my glasses

on the chair

so at midnight last night

I woke up trying to breathe

and moved my phone, of course

and sat on the glasses with a crunch

turns out my frames are discontinued

prescription is old as well

So I need an appointment, frames and glasses

but I think we have them bent and worked back together

to last a little while more

So my glasses are on a Final Destination curse

and I have a new lesson that I already knew

  

If you are fat and poor

Don't use your chair as a nightstand 

when you are training yourself to not sit on the bed

-Mark Burkenbine

Testing

 

Essence

 These newest soda cans are miracles of science and engineering. 

So thin and weak, it is like they sprayed soda with the fragrance,  essence of can.