Offense.

I take the stance that if you find me offensive , congratulations. You have probably led a very sheltered life and need to get out more.  Run with that.

If you find me not funny...eh. I can live with that to.   

Walrus joke. Not for the young or easily offended.

Twig and Limb removal

My wife and I are of very different cultures. I am from Salina Kansas, she is from Salem Missouri.  To those not educated in the ways of these peoples, it is very simple. She is Hill people, and she refers to my folk as Flatlanders.  ( I am not Scottish, but I do believe there should be only one)  Where she is from, they live among the trees like they are supposed to be there. Where I am from , we know exactly what the term breezy mean. It is gusts to 35 MPH like it is supposed to be. We know where wind comes from.   Where she is from, half a tree laying in your yard after a slight storm is a natural occurence.   Where I am from, we are trained from birth to pick up any and all twigs as part of a ritual training program, much like some children will start playing baseball at the age of five.   It is an attempt to satisfy our parents fantasy that their child will someday become the professional that they could not.     Let me explain....

ON a drive through Salina, I watched as my wife mocked my people while she was  also in shock and  awe...that after a small wind burst, there were suddenly dozens, maybe hundreds of people picking up small twigs in seemingly every yard.     Young children, some were just babies, being shown by adults how to pick up the twigs properly. ---Older children, perhaps earning their allowance---and to my surprise, many young and older adults wearing bright colored shirts, working in crews....all picking up twigs and small limbs.     At businesses, at pricier homes, middle class homes...the twigs get picked clean off the grass of all homes, regardless of income and status.
( she was right, I wish I had footage)

It all clicked.  All these years I thought I was being punished , being told to get out there and pick up the sticks....I was just being a pawn in a game bigger than me....It was like children of the corn or something.....

I was being groomed as a Professional Twig and Limb removal specialist, and I missed my calling. All those hours being trained by my Parents, Aunts and Uncles, Grandparents....and I dropped the ball.   Just like baseball and all the other sports.

It was right there and I didn't see it.     I could have been one of the best.  Maybe a Hall of Famer.
Or maybe the crops would be better and a virgin or drifter spared?      

you would have to see this.




--Mark Burkenbine

300+ posts.  

hmm.  Now seems like as good a time as any.


You know, no matter what happens, my wife loves me.    or is she just using me cause she likes my calves ?

a new bright sunny day

Lampz

The Art of

Self Esteem Specialist

You know how , when you and your friends are setting around the bar feeling bad for yourselves, and that one loser comes in and makes you all feel better about yourselves...I have never seen that guy so it must be me.

I think that makes me a Self Esteem Motivational Specialist.      I just stand next to you and you feel good- but not for too long though.  

That would be creepy.    

It's my way of helping others.
----Mark Burkenbine.   

Desparate 'Creative" selling soul...

I am curious.  Is it possible to sell every thought in your head?   Does that end up like Breaking Bad when the guy sold his shares in a billion dollar company for a few months rent?  Is Crowd Funding where you go to sell your soul?  I personally hate the term 'creative'....but I guess that is my skill set.   I make things and now I need to find a market for them.  Somewhere in this website and in my head is a very marketable item or skill.   What I apparently do not have is the ability to define it.
Isn't the internet wonderful?

Laundry Day

Plaid shorts....check.
Yellow shirt....bright yellow...check
Underwear with extra ventilation....check.
Two unmatched socks.    Check.

Must be laundry day.

All of my stuff would sound better if Garrison Keillor narrated it.

Zombie AFTER! (4)

It's a time of peace. The world is rebuilding. A time of unity, of helping your fellow man.

After winning Armageddon a people would respect the well earned outcome. At least for awhile.

It's a story of Zombie AFTER...

Sundays are probably a little different than they used to be.  Most are still a little bent about the whole GOD tried to kill us thing.  Just the mention of worship can cause a stir.

Others had religion so wrapped into their families being for so long, they still search for meaning. They aren't sure if we weren't supposed to stand up for ourselves or not. Certainly nothing ever written suggested we would win the second coming.

They keep this search for meaning very quiet.

The Government has started immunizations again. It seems there are a few virus that may mutate and be able to make us sick, or worse.   It's a long shot, the scientists say, but it exists.

Apparently the normal looking ones are at no risk of infection.  I don't have to be inoculated.

The doctors tell me I may never be sick.


Zombie AFTER!    
Mark Burkenbine Copyright 2014

Zombie AFTER! (3)

It's a quiet evening here in the valley.  The cicadas seem to be in tune. What a great night to enjoy the stars and the breeze up here on the roof. A great night to remember great nights from the past...

  After father got home, we had a wonderful turkey dinner , complete with dressing and sweet potatoes.

Dad was just nominated head of the new community rebuilding committee. Mom is on neighborhood watch and family integration.  Being fierce warriors who also had a 'normal' son & didn't eat him seems to have elevated their political status greatly.

But the higher they climb, the less I blend in. I am noticed even more, and others seem to want to protect me more. Why?...

I just wanted to be like my friends.

We are one of the lucky families.  We still own and possess our family assets from before the change.  Most only have what they claimed after the new government was set in place.  There are many that are waiting for a court date to fight to get back what was theirs, but there is little hope of that.   While there are far fewer of us than there were, there are still millions. It will take many generations to get this all straight again, and many expect another war from somewhere.

Those thoughts are kept sealed to the many...sometimes I hear more than I should. I have been told I should worry more about others hearing me.

But back to the roof.   It is so peaceful up here.   I found this place years ago, after I had a nightmare about being chased by the others.  That is right. I am a normal human son of Zombie parents, and I had a dream of being chased by Zombies.   It made things awkward, but apparently I had a reason to worry.    A neighbor went a little off the wagon one day, and decided I looked tasty.  Fortunately, I look normal but I am not as weak as the species of human before me. I got away, and climbed up here to hide.    The neighbor was sentenced to death for violating our first rule.  Don't eat each other.

It is hard to believe some of us even have pets now....they used to dodge us like the plague we once were.


It seems almost normal now...


Mark Burkenbine  copyright 2014   Zombie AFTER! 

Zombie AFTER! (2)

After the Zombie warriors had beat back The Son and his minions, they quickly became a society.  Much like it was before.

Government, schools and even social gatherings resumed. Even a little bickering among friends and colleagues.
Family became important again, as did work, business and economy.

Without the fight, entertainment was needed to distract the warriors.

Sports made a comeback.

I was the first born after we beat back the second coming. By first born, I mean the first normal one.                                                            Normal is just a word , you know.

I remember hearing the mumbling..."he will be weak". "We should dispose of him like we did the ones before him."    I also remember the ones that protected me. They demanded that we be a free society and be above judging and we take things as they come. This was a big step for a culture of 'only the strongest survive.'

It caused quite a stir, but it softened as others like me were born.  We aren't completely like we used to be, only in appearance.  We can talk to the dead, walk the path, and communicate with all others.We see what is to be seen.  We aren't quite as strong though, and never underestimate how intimidating the Zombie appearance is to an enemy....I certainly don't have that surprise effect going for me.

Evolution is a funny thing.  Seems you don't get to choose what is an upgrade or not. Your situation does.


Mark Burkenbine Copyright 2014   Zombie AFTER!

Zombie AFTER! Set the stage.

It hasn't been easy, you know?   It's been 50 years since It ended, very shortly after it began.

Who would have predicted it. I am joking. It turns out there were a few that did warn us.  The Untimelys went out of their way to drop a few hints...they did not have to do that.  Nobody listened, anyway.

Sure, if you follow the stories, it would seem like fun and games. A way to pass the time for a few hours.   Living it must have been a little more intense.

The mutations began in 2015, by 2020 the 'war' was over. The mutations either changed, ate or killed the 'non' mutants.  

I believe the operable term for the mutations is Zombie.

But...Zombie is a pretty narrow definition.  My research says this is evolution.   Living things EVOLVE to survive the situations in front of them, and humans evolve quicker when the fight is coming to them,
and when the fight has left.  

 Is it easier to deal with when you think the zombies aren't US?

Shortly after the Zombies took over, they started moving to the critical areas and setting up watch.  

The Zombies were not a step back. Evolution brought us forward.  They moved as one, they moved quickly, and they were setting up perimeters. This was mankind at its strongest. This was mankind using more than 10% of its brain and there were no weak links.  

When the skies opened up, and the dead began to walk among us, the Zombie humans were more than capable as they efficiently fought  through this apocalypse, one wave of nightmares at a time.   It was as if Gods themselves had no idea humans could be that strong.

or maybe that is what the books are about.  Keeping us in check.  Maybe it has always been about making sure the children thought they were weak.  Maybe it is ALL about not letting us get to where we can go.

Turns out we can go anywhere.  

More on all this later....this is about  AFTER.  

Zombie AFTER.




--Mark Burkenbine  copyright 2014.       Zombie AFTER

If you were me

What would you do?