Dream

 Noticing things

 putting it together

watching it unravel

chasing a ball of string....

Noticing things I wasn't supposed to

Happy New Years. Twenty twenty won.

 I could fall asleep right now

At 4 pm

And wake up and sleep 

A few more times

And when I look at the Happy New Years messages 

on my phone at midnight 

(If there are any)

In my head 

It will be January 4th already

Everybody has their own sense of time. I've been asked how long I lived somewhere, and my answer was One and a half bags of coffee filters. 

Happy New Year

To remain unfinished , added to as I wish

 Just found out that needle point and quilting are not the same thing. 

Multitudes. 

I had a good idea a few hours ago. Forgot to write it down. 

It is gone, but the good ones come back stronger. 

Patience...is just a word, until it is everything. 

I feel as if I am asked to believe in facts 

I feel as if I am asked to believe in facts

I feel as if I am asked to believe in facts

as scientific stone turns to dust

If you spend more than you make All income is stimulus And the poverty industry Is too big to fail

tax collection Is stimuli for the government?

If you want to get back at the government, cash those stimulus checks and save it in a cookie jar.

Is the internet/cyberspace part of nature? Working on a modern transcendentalism bent...

It would be remiss if the influence over my life of Commander McBragg and Waldo Kitty were not duly noted.

Of the freedoms you have given up, which ones came back?

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Wife just yelled from the bedroom "do WE have any reason to go out today?" Meaning it's cold, & I will be venturing out on my own, if so desired and/or commanded, as the heater is turned up til I am melting, while the lady of the house is in short pants, drinking hot chocolate

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Working on my foraging skills. Found a granola bar in the couch that I had missed previously. Bring on the next phase of this dystopian now.

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Haven't you ever watched someone try to fail up?

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Currently considering adding a stealth second bathroom to our one bathroom apartment, but the negativity is really putting a damper on the creative focus.

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It is that time of year to figure out the New Years resolution. Maybe I will try to be better than I was yesterday. I am old. I don't necessarily remember the shit I pulled on any specific yesterday. I do remember some of the career highlights of shit I pulled on a lifetime of sundry yesterdays.

So I know my capabilities, and it is for the best to be better today than the yesterday that sticks in your mind.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, Ever'body.

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Before we went to Sam's, the wife had mentioned Nutty Bars are cheap by the box. We get home, and we forgot the wholesale nutty bars. 

At this point, I am Sam Kinison, screaming WOMAN, I CAN'T AFFORD CONVENIENCE STORE NUTTY BARS AGGGHHHH  AAAAGGGHHH   AAAAGGGGHHH

Maybe I will almond bark some shelled peanuts. I don't know. 

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assemble the pieces

 maybe it is time

There is much more, and less, here than meets the eye

I woke up yesterday feeling off, like something was going to happen. The swelling in my feet was manageable, but even though I had a decent sleep, I fell asleep again for a three hour nap. 

I still turned in early, and at one AM, got up and my ankles decided they did not want to support me in this endeavor. Hands and wrists, ankles, feet, legs and elbows swollen and hot. 

 I fell backward into bed, and asked the wife where my walker is at.  Fortunately, my hands were not as bad as my ankles. I did not even know I had this issue until my feet were on the floor. 

If I understand these things correctly, which I probably do not,  this is an autoimmune response that creates a cytokine storm that, in between pain hopping from joint to joint, and psoriasis popping up everywhere and feeling like it is eating my flesh,  it also puts me to sleep. 

The good wife helped me get my shoes and socks on, and I hobbled out to the car to double check if I could safely drive or not. Took me awhile to get there, but I can safely drive. 

  In our house, it is good to know if you need emergency transportation ahead of time. 

I tried to think of what I could have done to bring this on. I was already being careful and taking it easy because I have had various issues for months...years.   The only thing I did was....a small stretch for the back of my legs. 

It gets me every time.  Psoriatic arthritis is joints and connective tissues. I can't stretch when things are tight, or there is a price. It is usually an effing month of my life. But it feels so good to stretch...

We need to order the part for that extra wheelchair. The only thing I know about a random shit storm is there is always one coming. 

A spoonful of sugar

 The placebo works wonders.

Does it work backwards, as well?  If you were administered something harmless, but convinced it would have horrible effects, could you manifest that into reality?

Isn't this how life works?

Science...?

Hope & some change

 To prove I don't deal with existential dread 24/7, here is a happy story about winning.

Yesterday, I went to a Dollar store & bought what appears to be a single use, one and done pizza cutter & an over the door coat hook. We got the last gold one & it matches our yellow and beige decor perfectly.

We used it 4 times already.

Tranquility

 

I'd been unhealthy 

For quite awhile 

It takes a toll

Your standards 

Get trampled 

It's hard to not be reliable

For loved ones

Or yourself

Nobody wants to

 be a burden 

It was a bad stretch 

And I walked slowly to bed

Cause slow was as fast

As I could go

And I stared at darkness for the longest time

Not sure I was breathing 

It was the most relaxing thing 

It felt like

If I closed my eyes

They would not open again 

So I got up

Wrote a little 

Listened to some music

And fell asleep

 when I didn't have that feeling 

It was peaceful

I had a little choice

Maybe I will choose different next time? 

Maybe next time

There's no choice at all

I don't know

I have loved ones

That I want to see 

And hear

And maybe I know something 

That can help them

Someday

I wish there was more

But hey

Everyone has problems 

Life 

Goes on

Thank you

For your time

Spell ing

 I always said real writers use spell check.

I have several 7 year old posts full of typos. So many errors I made a game out of it.  

Do I go against my principles and make the correction, or let them stand for all eternity as a middle finger to the grammar nazi?

I've always maintained that, if you understood the writers intent, communication has been made.

I guess I'm just a purist that rebels very quietly.

Quality Control

 I believe I have paid full price for toilet paper that is clearly of blemished factory 2nd quality.

We are no longer a first world country. The proof is at your fingertips.

************

I teach feel. Flow. You will either get it, or leave the conversation & finally understand your next bowling instructor. Either way you are welcome

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My Ramblings on Soundcloud, click below

To Be Named Later

2 Be Named Later

3 Be Named Later

Autobiographical Friction

 What do they call you

 when you don't do things 

 like everybody else? 

Names. 

They insult you. 

What do they do 

when you consider that 

a compliment? 

They call you more names, 

and soon 

you do not hear them 

anymore. 

All you hear 

is serenity

as you dance 

through the chaos

Sure

it's a mess

but it is yours

 I have reached equilibrium.

I cannot exercise without injury 

I cannot sit around and get healthier 

Random Mind Castle

 And I took my 2 dollar generic antihistamine but now I can't focus because the machine elves keep singing that song "Stay"...and it's the Jackson Browne version. The machine elves know this annoys me to no end because he spells his name Browne with an E.

Time Fly

 Notes.

Time

A fly lives about a month.

Does it think it's lived around 30 days

Or does it feel like a lifetime?

Noah 950. Moses 120.

Roman calendar 10 Mo. 

Lost 8 yrs to Gregorian in 1500s

Norway 3 Mo of day, 3 mo of dark

circadian rhythms

earth travels through space at 1000 mph but we don't notice it

Do we live much longer than we perceive, were days shorter, Earth slower, faster?

Permanent Record

 All this fuss over regurgitating  the details in my head into a perfectly understandable story for a stranger. 

While spending a moment at my mindcastle, I checked my messages. Good news !

The ideas in my head are part of The Permanent Record. No worries. I am credited as the author of the work, regardless of a lack of earthly realm publishing.

I can rest easy. 

A Lifetime is Your Canvas

 Declawed Lions. Did you really want to make a King think more carefully about every move?

Noooo. Thought it was a stuck caliper...it's wheel bearings and a tie rod. 700 spent on tires, brakes, rotors and just now getting to stuff that keeps the tire from flying off. I'm a dunce. Just wish I could work on my own car again, but noooooo

There are people who play hunting, and there are hunters.

I won't say I haven't been bored. I just learned, long ago, that there are so many levels And intricacies To this state That it became one of my favorite states to visit. Boredom is the gateway, you know

To be continued. It is always continued...

I'm slowly preparing for my socks to be put on. Ever feel like your life is the last season of the worst tv show ever, but it just keeps going? I meant that in the best way. I make me chuckle.

For those in the future, check out 2020.

Weaponized absurdity is going nuclear.

I was in my father in laws meat processing shop this morning, & a talkative older German man came in. Chatted with everyone, asking where the family came from. He sees me on a corner chair and says " you are a German." I didn't know it was a look. Gramma always said we were Dutch.

Trump news. I'm sure it would be great, but imagine Trump in a white suit & wheelchair as Guy Caballero, as the News turns into SCTV. That's entertainment.

Being an idiot myself, I can assure you, it is a large and diverse population.

Exponential. Things happening beyond human comprehension. It's been going on forever. We are just now aware that it is there

Had an arthritis flare up in my feet for awhile. Stuck on the computer even more than usual. News cycle has been hilarious, so it is not all bad.

Refresher- Powerful people do not cower and panic. They make decisions. They follow plans. They alter plans when needed. They know what the consequences are, good and bad, and accept them. Power defines. Good or Evil is just a personal interpretation.

When you are dead, apparently you are doomed to roam the Earth voting democrat for all eternity

I shouldn't take antihistamines and do Twitter at the same time.

#2020 I swear this year was a Scooby Doo episode and it isn't over until George Soros and Bill Gates say " We would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for those meddling kids"

At about 11 am, my wife asked me if it was too early for Chili. I said I have a blog & pursue social media superstardom. I left your cultures mundane boundaries for something better, ages ago. I will eat Chili and drink beer at any time I choose.

Sometimes I wonder, what is the lowest amount of energy it takes to keep a crowd engaged?

Some days it feels like the world needs saving And some ask themselves if they could Some know they can but question if they should A few won't use their powers for good

This seems like an exceptional business climate to open FAT HOBBIT MENSWEAR, BREWERY, & ITALIAN EATERY

Can I learn to code? I don't even golf.

"Crazy" does not mean "stupid". "Crazy" does not mean "not stupid". Here we see where the battles are fought.

If you sit here in the twitter cauldron long enough, you can feel it being stirred

I identify as a fictional character, so nothing worries me too much. Don't know how you people put up with all the crap going on, though.

The more one plays on here, the more one should realize they are just becoming another crumb of the bread and circuses.

Anyone get the feeling that every election was cooked, and we are watching business as usual? They didn't just learn how to do all this without practice. #Election2020

Tovarisch

Life is interesting. I have been asked If I would like a good steak. I am thinking that most people have never had a good steak. Most are damned happy with a bad steak.

There is no shortage of folks that will assume they are smarter than you, ignore strategy, and will school you on what they determine you don't understand. They miss contextual subtleties staring them in the face.

Did you ever wake up and realize you are on twitter to work on what is left of your communication skills?

Walmart opens at 7am Sunday. I will be there at 6 30, staring in the window, watching candy prices slashed as the employees gorge themselves as the last Effing Reese Egg disappears into the group diabetic coma. I will buy a broken choco bunny. The smell of Reeses now on my change.

Oops. Wrong Holiday. But why does my change smell like your chocolate fell in my peanut butter?

Random Twitter ...Hoping my family has a great holiday. I haven't talked to my daughter in a while, hope her upcoming surgery goes as well as possible. Hey to the Grandkids, Hey to my dad and brother and whoever else reads this. Love you all. Happy Thanksgiving.

Oops

Put new tires on van, brakes and rotors replaced, still have the big problems of replacing wheel bearing/Hubs and a tie rod/ alignment.

More posts, edits and additions coming to THE BLOG for this special holiday edition

Quote Tweet

False Alarms

You ever wake up suddenly, ready to save the world?

I'm dreaming. I hear 3 knocks. It wakes me up. I wake my wife up and ask  "Did you hear that?"  No. She never hears it.  I am stumbling around trying to figure out who is at my door. 

Some loud noise, explosion, or earthquake wakes me up...same drill.  Out checking the neighborhood for damage.   I am checking earthquake reports, police scanners.  Internet says hearing that knock in your sleep means someone may die soon....so I am making awkward calls asking friends and family if they are ok...

There I am, thinking I am one with nature. One with the universe.  Dr. Strange, hear to protect your reality. 

A few times it actually was an earthquake, or a limb falling, or a box fell over in the closet. 

The other 5000 times, it was my own ridiculously loud snoring, or obnoxious gas. Loud enough it scared me and woke me up. 

My wife is a saint. 

I figure she is putting together quite the Youtube channel with the footage she must have hidden away. Never laughed or giggled. Just let me go find out what the trouble was. 

Transparency

 Wife said I'm crying. I said no, eye is leaking.

with the other issues, arthritis in eye, likely.

I heard her whisper "I'm getting a dog"

I laughed,-I'm a blind man

who can't stand, laughing while I'm trying not to piss on your floor

she said "You love me"

I said "This is why"

Sorry bloggies. I have been spending too much time on twitter this month. Have a lot of content to add here.

hunt n peck blogging at its finest

 excuse my obscenities. i am suspending the rules of grammar today.   at 4 am, i was fine, just the normal arthritic back and such. normal wear and tear.( pain i earned)    at 5 30, i realized i was cradling my right hand, and for lack of a better word--sobbing like a little ....well, you get the point.

last time this happened, a few years ago, my hand swelled tremendously and i lost use of it.  its still not good. never did get much feeling back, but got movement back.  actually, there have been two other scares, that were just a few days long.

kind of noticing that both hands, both feet, and right knee are barking pretty loud. took 3 naproxen.  im actually prescribed to take 1000 milligrams a day, but i try not to take any.  had a pharmacist kinda lose it over that script.. told her dr means well. its pretty bad and i take as needed...but it has dawned on me that im so used to pain from inflammation, that it might be why my bp is largely uncontrollable.    i dislike meds, but being pain free isnt   worth quick,ridiculously painful execution of several organs.  i deal with it.

anyway, typing with one finger. 

brain is working overtime on my project. all my blog, social media and life in general is feeding an art project that i may never see completed in this realm.  but i at least want to finish the concept here, to the best of my ability, before it changes hands..

Tapestry

You do things your way

I'll do things mine

maybe we will get along just fine

but the rules will say 

we can't do that

or this

it all seems hit or miss

1 good book says it is about love

1 says it is about things 

you haven't thought of

be useful seek value 

don't chase happiness

nobody knows

what that is

You take photos

I play with word

some write music

with feeling never heard

some paint pictures

with colors and brushes on anything they could

some solve puzzles, some make them

 I just try to recognize when I am in one 

inasmuchas I'd hope you would

Art shows you the future

art shows you what you cannot see

sometimes it is premonition

sometimes it is made to spec

is it magic 

or is it tech   -nocracy 

Our whole lives, everything we see and do

all woven together, 

entwined in a multi media forever

A divine Tapestry of if , when, why, was, is,  and never     -to be

Tapestry

Simulation Woo Woo

 If this is a simulation, does that imply our lives, and deaths, mean nothing? 

If that is the case, does that mean there are people here that KNOW this and treat others as such? 

Link below

A World of Author Untimely  ...with spelling errors as an extra prize

 Enough patter about people and events. 

Let us get back to ideas. 

Mistakes along the way....

 I am so blind. Can't focus looking at a computer screen anymore. I love making my doodles and refrigerator art on the old Paint, but windows 10 version sucks for me. Amy just found out the old Paint runs in the background, so I started messing around with it again.  I made it through two rough drafts, and I am done. Cannot see the screen, already.   This happened to me in school. I was taking online classes, and they made Ebooks mandatory, and I couldn't see them, let alone retain anything. 

It is hard enough to type and doodle with the right hand, the day is coming when I have to actually paint and write left handed. 

I have written some stories that I wanted to illustrate myself, in my own simple way.  This is going to take awhile. 

Sharing my mistakes along the way.,,,,,