2016 in review

Inner Child. Let us go down that road.

Knowing Participant

busy empty spaces

Success

What could it be ?

It is what it is.

Tim Tam Slam Diet -Mark Burkenbine

Maintaining my pledge of excellence...

Manipulation

Boredom

Hard Day in the Fields

My wife came in and asked me if it was a hard day in the fields.

This is my field.

Hapless

Contrary

Just a Pinch more

Sharing

Didn't everybody know that kid in school that was picked on all the time. Yeah that was me. The strong one. I remember in first grade when they started stabbing me with pencils and breaking the lead off under my skin. {I still have the green spots marking where the lead is} I suppose I could have put a stop to it, but I didn't feel it, really.... and if I passed on this job, then who would these morons go after? Some kid that would snap and hurt them bad? Nope, it was best for everyone that I handle it.

and that is how I got my fascination for comedy.
#SharingMakesForAComedicMoment

Shock

Useful.

Coloring Book.

Coloring Book for people who draw their own lines.  

definition

one good way of recognizing the success of a program, is to criticize it and see how many people on the wrong end of the program stand up and fight for the very thing that hurts them.

Influence

I have read varied accounts that DaDa and Surrealism were invented because War did not deserve real beauty, and that it was actually a Psy-Op and so on.   I have always preferred it...as well as various types of performance art and outside of the box comedy and writing.  Things that make me think.     Does this mean that I have been influenced by a Psy-Op to become a weapon of  Classical Arts demise?  (could just be crap internet conspiracy rabbit holes that I fell into.  It happens from time to time...)

Shit.  I feel so used.  

Are we just made up of whatever someone wants to pound into our young, easy to influence heads, or can we break these molds?  

I don't know where it came from.   Absolutely nobody in my family shares my tastes or judgments.

And I like that. 

Intellectual

Village Idiot

Concept

I asked my wife what she knew about string theory and quantum mechanics...cause she finished high school and college, and I did not.  She said " do you realize you were born into the wrong class?"  I said I prefer the term  'Hidden for my protection'.    She called me a rich whackadoo, and said   "of course we were taught some of that, I read it because I had to.   Nobody else reads and studies those things for fun. "    
I take this as a compliment.   And 'Whackadoo'  knows no financial boundaries. 

Dislodge obstruction

news from a fat hipster

It is always special when you run into someone that doesn't know much about you, and does that quick shoddy once over of your current situation.....without grasping that you have the skills and similar experience to fully understand the nuances of their job. I suppose that is part my fault. I tend to create appearances that may not be truly representative of my knowledge of a situation. The words belittle and belie may have relevance. Sometimes I overstate and use false bravado intermingled with signs of being meek and even unkept. I have never really been concerned with myself..I am learning about you by how you react over me. It is always fascinating.

- While disappointment has been my address, I built that house in my land of confusion, and I am Master of my domain.

Enjoy--Mark Burkenbine. #FatHipster #ProfitableNarcissist #allthingsburkenbinedotcom #ResidentASSistant

Eye

Fathers Day and random thoughts

Ability

This bowling thing is gonna kill me

There be Monsters...

exposed whuppin stick

so earlier tonight, my wife gave me a hug. This , to you , would be insignificant. But I, being of pot belly and no ass, use a unique belt positioning system to keep my pants up. My wife hugs me around my tummy , and my pants fall off. Thus exposing my 'whuppin stick'. The thought of this happening in public has brought a suspenders purchase into the budget.

about 30 new tracks uploaded to soundcloud

https://soundcloud.com/mark-burkenbine

New Feature. Mark Burkenbine's The Untrained Eye

sneak preview of my new series, Mark Burkenbine. The Untrained Eye. This week, the world of Occupancy Inspection. Information in this series can be used as it applies to any situation involving going to a strangers property. In picture 1, you have been sent to a home to verify occupancy, and speak to the occupant if you can. Do you notice anything? I see the garage door being up and a shrub between the front door and the garage. As you pull into the drive, you may realize the problem. If you are lucky this is when you find out the homeowner uses the garage as a dog house. If you are not lucky, and have not pieced it together, you will leave your vehicle, ring the doorbell, and turn around to find Cujo, sometimes with his buddy Satan. THEY ARE ALWAYS CUJO AND SATAN. If you are there for the bank, they can smell it on you. You have no good way out of this, unless the homeowner rescues you. Avoid having to have the homeowner rescue you. Iffy at best. The proper way to handle this situation from the start is -- Grass is cut. Assume animal in the garage. Doorbell light is on. Your home is occupied. Move on to safety, or the next stop. In the last photo, I have shown you a tree with a purple x on it. In the state of Missouri, if you step onto the property, the occupant can pretty much shoot you for anything. That X is a warning that you are on their property. Again, don't let the animals or the mortgagor smell bank on you. I know people that say they used to have to shoot the problem and drag the body into the house to be legal, now you just have to be past that tree. The most dangerous thing you will ever do is step on a strangers property. Welcome to my world---Mark Burkenbine. I was going to call this Shit you may need to know, but that is actually in use

Dada lives.

Childhood of a Bowling Ball

Fat Man in a Yellow Shirt...Bowls. Well.

Fat Man in a Yellow Shirt,,,Mows Your Lawn

Not Qualified?

Natural Disasters

A Handle

Simple life

Placebo

Invisible

Expression.

Expression.
I love the spring. 30 degree mornings, with afternoons in the 60s. Just the right amount of chill to properly enjoy my strong black coffee and my peanut butter toast. Two things the doctor says I can't have. Which makes it even better, on the perfect morning. Almost decadent. So I doodle as I think about the current life situation. About three months ago, I started doing Quality Control inspections again, just low paying independent contractor stuff. I did it just to make myself move more. I had been napping more and more since the heart issue and the medications and feeling like I was losing this life thing. I need to be able to drive again, to be able to bowl like I used to. I need some semblance of good health. Wait, do you hear that?

Nothing. This story needs a maraca. Maybe some rice in a dish will do.....yes that is nice. Now a little tapping for percussion. Shake and tap. It is a little jazzy now. Continuous loop in the background..... Ok. Back to the story.

So, anyway, I plan on living a long , full life. I think the key to that is don't stop moving. Now I guess I need an income....

Which takes me back to the work I have been doing. I don't make anything off it. It pays for the trips. I have literally just been driving my wheels off to get me ready for the travel involved in bowling tournaments. It seems like everything I am interested in doing does not involve the security of knowing when or how much I will get paid. It is all based on performance. I like it like that, but bill collectors are very risk adverse. But who hires a guy like me? I loudly speak out against job interviews, for Pete's sake. I think the employer knows who they are looking for and should go get them, instead of making all those people jump through hoops for nothing.

It seems my way of thinking is considered deviant or something. Eh. That works for me. I will continue to sort out this meaning of life thing in my own way, like everybody else. Chow, baby. ( and percussion fades out...maybe kind of like the Stones, sympathy for the Devil....real catchy , that one...)

Crop Insurance

always interesting to see what the locals do for crop insurance

Quest for Knowledge

One Man Show. Permits?

Storyboard -- I suck at being poor

another Homespun Philosophies

Cookie Cutter

new to the World of Author Untimely

Life is a chance to make...

Every time I Drive Away.

Shame on you for not tipping.  Tip jar is at top of next column to your right. Don't be a freeloader. :)

excuse me.  I am testy.  I do freelance Quality Control inspections, bowl tournaments, and dabble in the various arts to try to survive and care for my family.   Basically doing what I can to stay in charge of my life.   Have you noticed that many try to have a say in how you live YOUR life?   Anyway, if you enjoy any of my 'creative freedom', please toss a few electronic tokens in the virtual bucket.     Take care, and Y'all come back   You have been busked and personally marketed

Thumbs

Personal branding

Vocation?

I am producer of my life's works.