Roundup

 Midlife crisis? 

I've been the same person since I was five. 

I don't know who I was before then. 

The toddler years were a struggle. 

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The world is a funny place,

if you acquire a certain taste

an admiration

for brutal absurdity

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I remember the first time I heard the words "you think you're funny, don't you? " and I didn't. It was a complete misunderstanding. I've been running on that annoying premise ever since.

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My vet once told me to give my dog an antihistamine in a small dose , because the dog was freaking out over fireworks in the area. All the other dogs were telling my dog that she can't take human medicine.

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I believe Twitter considers me subpar. I would like to be on record as not agreeing with Twitter.

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Name a successful tv show that had a bad theme song? Most of them are crap shows...so it seems the common denominator of successful TV is recognizable noise, followed by recognizable characters, plots, bad jokes, and endings. Noises + no surprises= success

Not reinventing the wheel. Formula is in politics and news as well.

And algorithms...

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The Wham video for wake me up before you go go, but all the shirts say "Everything Hurts and I am dying". I'm in a mood today. Actually quite cheerful.

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Dance like your toaster is always watching you

The other day I was writing, and lost my train of thought, so I went to my Facebook to see if the advertisements would get me back on track. Works every time.

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If I die today, is this the tweet I want to be remembered by?

Do I even care if a tweet remembers me?

(inner voice) How can you feel that way? They are your little thought babies.

While I am on the subject of death...an observation. We all die quick. We may be in pain a long time, or a short time, but we are alive, and then we aren't. Example: Falls don't kill you. Landings do. Unless you had a heart attack while falling.

Technically, we all die from a lack of oxygen intake. I think. I am no scientist.

Lots of people with perfectly good reasons to loose their shit, and they are holding it together nicely. Not sure what that means. It says a lot about something.

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Apparently, it is hard for most people in my current realm of existence to converse with me. It took years, but hard work pays off.

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When did the heartfelt apology die, or was it always just a romantic notion taught to kids who were raised a certain way, but goes the way of Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny and Tooth Fairies when one experiences the cold blooded ruthlessness of adulthood?

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Bond villains do not have to eat their words

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Social Engineers AKA Bond villains

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All the truth is in the fiction