Given a choice...

Fly like an Eagle. No. It is beautiful and all, but I am pretty sure gliding like a bumblebee is the way to go.
Think vibration. Frequency. 

Belief

Belief

stand up story teller.

I pull up to my next property inspection. It is an old house. Let us just call it a manor, as that word should give you an idea that it is large, old, and kind of spooky.  It sets between two businesses, which is an odd position as it is. I look at the due date, and decide I can skip it.

My wife says, did you see the cage on the porch.   I said, great. I hope the dog doesn't still live there. She says it looked like a monkey cage.  Or a snake or gator. I said I want no part of a monkey. They can rip your face off.  She says she will take her chances with a monkey, wants nothing to do with getting crushed by a python or a boa. I said that is just slowly going to sleep. You can live through getting your face ripped off.  My diatribe follows.

There are things you should not live through. 

I would like to think, if there are powers that be, that they have a list of things they missed. That these powers manifest themselves as a sign, and tell people that lived through something like that they can take you now, and take you quick, or give you a reward, kind of like an out of court settlement for their obvious error.   

and then , somebody with a bag over their head screams and runs out of the theatre. The person with them yells obscenities at me, and  that she just had her face tore off by a monkey. I said.....DUDE. Pointed to myself and said ASPERGERS. Do you know what that means?  Probably not. It means you just wasted yours, and my, valuable time. If she still had a face, it could be getting ripped off by a monkey while you are yelling at me. Jeez. My afflictions make my job difficult sometimes.

and then I woke up from my dream. 

or am I the pet with thumbs?

The apparent

It's cute how people still believe they can't be forced to think a certain way.
Most can.
Not immediately.
It's a slow drip kind of thing.
Think in years, decades, lifetimes.
Think in terms of advertising,  media, education.
Think beyond the obvious.
I'll say it again.
Many stupid things are brilliant when you realize their purpose was not what it seemed.

Predicate

I often wonder if an affinity for jello is a precursor to a long stay in an institution,  and if this is studied , can we pinpoint a diagnosis? Can we tell which facility will be the future host based on a favorite gelatinous flavor or shape?
My think tank is now seeking grants and other funding sources.

trending slightly sideways, slightly upwards

Life is amazing. I don't even recognize the idiot I was just ten years ago.

I am a completely different kind of idiot, and I hope this trend continues.