3× I said it.

 A lot of people do impersonations. Most of them bad. Even more say they don't do impersonations.

But when they write, the words often take a tone, and possess mannerisms. If you listen as you read, you can often hear a great impersonation.

Monsters, Grizzled Wizards, and fewer formerly happy folks

 Once upon a time,

 in a beautiful place of sunshine and happiness

 that was full of smiling, kind and helpful folks,

a grizzled wizard appeared out of nowhere. 

He told the people they have a problem. 

There is a monster coming. You can't stop it. 

The smiling, kind and helpful folks gasped. 

The Grizzled Wizard told them he can help, 

but even the formerly smiling folks knew 

this was going to cost them everything.

They paid The Grizzled Wizards shakedown price,

 then he told them the solution.

"This monster thinks you folks taste like chicken. 

I can cast a spell that will make half of you invisible.

Make your choice. Pick your side."

With fee collected and spell cast, The Grizzled Wizard bid the formerly smiling and now not so happy, helpful, or kind folks-"adieu".  He traveled on to his next destination.  

The Monster immediately appeared and ate all the invisible folks like popcorn chicken. You see, the visible folks did taste like chicken, but The Monster doesn't like plain chicken. The Grizzled Wizard did make half the people invisible, but they smelled and tasted like BBQ chicken. 

BBQ chicken is The Monsters favorite meal in the entire realm. He can follow that smell anywhere. 

Were The Monster and the Grizzled Wizard working together? Or, did the Grizzled Wizard figure out a way to save half the people?

Prepare yourselves

The thought of taking Silent Radio Show on tour just gives me goosebumps. 

Giddy with a touch of nerves. 

Am I ready?

So much to do, so little time.  

This is a joke. 

Nobody will pay for me to do dishes and fold clothes

while we all silently read my blog.

Not true. 

They may pay once and get very upset. 

That is where I will get my enjoyment. 

Not sure the cell phone generation is patient enough 

for my idea of performance art

or share my enjoyment of watching paint dry, as the color fades, 

and it chips off. 

If you give a man in pain a keyboard...he's going to type some shit...badly

 As a human...

I discuss this with only the hope of helping someone 

make a decision

for the better. 

For years

I have had tooth 

and gum issues. 

A minute after brushing my teeth 

I could eat and drink anything

with no change in what it was supposed to taste like

since I was about 13. 

All my relatives smoked or chewed

I think

but I had an Aunt that died

because her teeth went bad

and it turned to cancer

at least that is how it was explained

as I remember it

when I was young

( It was a closed casket)

I didn't smoke or chew

(but I was around it my WHOLE life)

never did it

never did any narcotic

Anyway, teeth and gums are in quite the disarray

very painful, sometimes

apparently, many are all to be removed

because the same infection destroying the teeth

also destroys the heart (?)

and I, unfortunately, am looking at an aortic aneurysm

an aortic root, and aortic valve  replacement ( born with bicuspid valve?) , repair

or whatever, 

many or all of my teeth removed by executive order, 

oh....and a pacemaker

because, they find, the heart doesn't respond well 

after they chop it off and replace it with....

Anyway...I carried forward the pain and incredible expense of my horrible teeth

by chewing garlic ( a painful but effective and powerful antibiotic that I have dared others to try) and cashews( same story, different reason), 

It worked well for decades

But in the end...

I still wouldn't have paid a dentist the extortion rates they were charging in the 90s. (tens of thousands) 

Fuck experts. Don't pay for their shingle. Die with some dignity. 

As the cartoon soundtrack plays in the background...na na na NA NA NA

 When Professor X puts on the helmet for Cerebro...

you realise   ( chose the spelling for a reason)

that is what happens 

when you get on a computer these days

You are hooking into IT ( Cerebro) 

and there is an AI   ( don't get me started)

That is hooking 

into you

Screw it around

every

chance

you 

get

Common Ground

Social media is a great equalizer. Wealth and status, education level...it is all irrelevant. If you are on social media, you are just as unstable as the next guy. You are displaying your "tell", your particular mental quirk, to the whole world. That is an endearing quality for common ground.

People get pissy when their badges of superiority are threatened. We all have them.

I know the world is falling apart, but nobody seems to understand that Sam's Club no longer seems to carry the tires I have been buying for YEARS. This will cost ME greatly. ( Greatly on my scale, not yours.)

"Happily failed writer not looking for clout but also not jealous of my ridiculously successful peers " shirts will soon be available on my merch page. Kidding. I don't have merch.

Went to pick up a fan to move it to another room and bumped the back of my head on it before it was unplugged. I instinctively jerked my head in fear of catching my hair in the blade.  My wife just says " that was close. It almost sucked your eye brow over the top of your head."  ( I haven't had hair for 25 years.)

Stardate 08/11/2022

Air conditioning has been off, and windows open, for approximately sixteen hours. We made it through the night with fans and the temperature eventually got down to 59 degrees Fahrenheit, albeit with 100 percent humidity. Once you stepped out of the fan, it was just a cool swim to the bathroom. 

Tempers flared in late afternoon, as the mid 80s started to do what the mid 80s do to the brain. One starts to get sleeeepy, after having the A/C on for most of the last 9 weeks or so and going back to being slaves to the weather like neanderthals. 

We are struggling to not turn on that A/C. The evening will be sticky, but a cool reprieve. That 25% raise plus ten dollars , following last years raise of 13%, sure feels like twice as much as it used to be for the comforts of heat and air. 

One day soon, we will be human again. 

-------

 I miss coffee

In ways you won't understand

Until you know coffee

The way I know coffee

The way coffee knows me

If this is uncomfortable

You aren't there yet

Move along

Go drink your...tea.

Adaptation