Truth and Pride tussle as you get closer to the end

It is not the easiest of things

to admit weakness

and at times 

helplessness

in even the most

ordinary 

of situations...

I was more competitive

than I would like to think I was

I would prefer to think I was meek

but some would say arrogant

some would say

I was an ass

but as I sign papers

declaring my ineptitude

for aid that I do not want

and probably won't get

to prolong my life

for a little extra time with my loved ones

I have an urge to ...

burn them. 

To stand up

take a few hobbled steps

to the fire

and burn the papers. 

To die 

as I should

Not asking for help

( help has always been available, at prices few won't pay)

but maybe

I can still 

help a little

Maybe, I still have a few days

I am more help, than burden

But...

nobody

wants to be more burden

than help

to their loved ones