Truth hidden in truth

 I read a lot when I was young. 

I wrote a little

mostly poetry of sorts

I quit, and I don't know why

The poem I remember, was this

There comes a time

when worlds collide

win we must choose

when or lose

the path our lives will follow

I stopped writing poetry and just wrote notes and lists. 

whole notebooks...to try to keep order

despite this, I went on and led a very chaotic life

I felt I was such a detriment to situations

that things would only get worse

that it was best for my loved ones

that I remove myself from the situation

work on my problems

and hope for improvement later

I went back to writing

to fill the hole

when I felt my health, 

and time

and economics

were not on my side. 

I don't know if it will matter

or not

it may be too little, too late, and too much

but I have put my heart, soul and mind

into words

for my family and friends 

and anyone who stumbles across them

so they can remember me

get to know me better

(or pretend they didn't)

and in some cases, realize why

I thought it best to subtract myself

from the equation.      

I am not proud of my wrongs. 

I am not even proud of my rights.

It is for others to pass judgement.

These 3 blogs are the worst, best and average 

my mind can offer up to this point

The lack of edit is my way of displaying honesty. 

There is no perfection here. 

There is always tomorrow until there isn't. 

Love. 

Now maybe I can sleep. Mental constipation is now alleviated.