Getting Old is Chronic (whiny filler post)

 Haven't posted for awhile. I have been keeping notes, so maybe I will be productive someday. Last few weeks my left shoulder and elbow blew up , (of course it did) so the keyboard is difficult to negotiate. 

Just got back from a big trip to see the family. 

Trying to figure out how to go see my brother, who has now been in the hospital for a month. 

On the plus side, our larger truck cart is here. The old one was breaking down. I can't get groceries and luggage without wheels to get them inside. 

I always say I never do the easy thing, but I realize I need to have the right tools to make carrying things possible.   Now to come up with a ramp for Amy's chair when I load it in the back of the van. 

Walked down the hall today, and suddenly felt like an electric shock in my ankle, and my foot just gave out. I caught myself on the wall.  It was fine a few moments later.   Wife and I talked about it and this is a sporadic thing that has happened, on several joints in my body, over the last ten years.   Wonderful wonderful.  

I have lots of these little things that I call getting old, which is a nice way to say I am not going to be getting better. 

I remember when I would have these bad stretches, but then I would have these amazing days of no pain...I remember that used to happen, but I don't know when it was. 

I would have cheese with my whine, but it is not allowed. 

drippingly earnest comedy

 I stopped drinking a few days ago, and gave up soda yesterday. 

When I was younger, I would have lost ten pounds already. 

What's the use? 

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When people underestimate me

I think of my little life

and the things I have been through

Maybe I am the only one who has ever

-Had a skunk run across his feet and spray him point blank in the face

-hit a deer

-and a bat (stuck in the windshield wiper)

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Beautiful day. I am going for a walk. I don't care what the critics think. 

( a few hours later)

The critics were right. Made it a quarter mile and called Uber to send a rickshaw to get me on the walking trail. No phone service, and probably no rickshaw, anyway. Had to drag my own self back to the car.  Life without Naproxen is off to a slow start. 

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Fabians everywhere. 

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It's a sad day. Put my hand in my pocket and pulled out a dollar bill. 

Had to confront the wife and ask who's been wearing my pants. 

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Went to get groceries and a flash bowling tournament broke out....again. 

The aisles just make it a natural occurence. 

Just once, I would like to go bowling and a flash mob grocery shopping or teeth cleaning occurs. 

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I have a disdain for control freaks

but they probably don't care what I think

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Breakfast. 

Oatmeal. Apple. Banana. Pomegranate juice. a square of 90% dark chocolate. 

Water w/ lots of prescription meds to make me healthy (?) enough to take more pills.

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No alcohol this week. 1 can of soda a day...maybe I can cut that to every other day. 

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Not sure if I am having pain in most joints because of water pill dehydrating and I'm making too much uric acid, 

naproxen withdrawal

alcohol withdrawal

or this is what arthritis feels like with zero painkillers. 

Either way....it is an issue.  I will keep trying to move, but the steps are getting smaller. 

Life is fascinating. 

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Notice all the ME in my blog. My longtime reader may remember that I write about me because I probably won't sue me.

-

Mister Blue Sky

 Got a tornado warning on my phone. Hundreds of miles of blue sky. That would be quite the surprise, I suppose. Is this a sharknado movie?

Probably a system test.

I read that six Dr. Seuss books are being discontinued because of how they treat people.  ???

Wishing my little brother well. He is ten hours away, going through quite the health ordeal. 

I had a follow up yesterday, while my brother was in the operating room, and the doctor tells me I'm too young for all these issues. I wanted to say "there are people with real problems."

To me, my health problems are small talk. Banter to discuss with friends and joke about. I've been falling apart forever. It's just what I do.

It's a beautiful day for a walk. If we aren't up for a walk, maybe we'll go watch other people move.

Have a good day. -Mark

Moving Slooooowly

 After being in the hospital last week, we decided this was the best time to get back to see the kids and grandkids.  Weather was 70 degrees and clear, hotel was cheap, gas is jumping constantly and my meds and bp seem somewhat stable.

 Just before we left, I threw out my back putting on a shoe. I figured I could still breathe, and it didn't hurt to drive, so this is still better than fluid on the lungs. 

It was great seeing everyone. Life could turn in to a continuous doctor's appointment at any minute. I prefer to have fresh memories of the kids when that happens. 

Yesterday, we traveled again for groceries. Today we are putting everything up and trying to recover from the last couple weeks. I seem to have pulled something in my neck this morning, and Amy keeps telling me to settle down and rest. 

I have decided to delay writing anything beyond these little diary memos for awhile, until meds get adjusted again. 

In the meantime, I will watch Wandavision like everyone else. 

A mispent weak

 I feel strong enough to complete my lifes work and fight off all those opposing forces that martial together to attack anyone choosing to go their own way.

Bring on the world.  Hahaha hahaha

Fibs. Nonsense. 

I still have the same ole wounds that the bus of life has inflicted on me. 

I saw the driver in the rearview mirror, as he had a clean shot to back over me, again. 

I'll be damned, I said. 

I drive this bus.

Happy Birthday to me. Made it out of hospital yesterday. Just want to smell sweet country air and figure out how to ....

Note. The last week or so of memory views like bad sci fi effects and doesn't seem like me. Gonna cry about that, someday.

Written week before admitted to ICU

 First time in weeks I can touch my face with my right hand

That left arm pit could use soap and deodorant 

Maybe soon I can put my socks on all by myself,  more often than not

But let's not get carried away 

Have to go buy 

a new days worth of oxygen supply

Gonna be a bright sunshiny day

Heavy Paper

 Had a dream that I accidentally hurt my pet wild boar. 

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Autoimmune disease. Immune system attacking you by mistake. 

What if it isn't...a mistake? 

......

Covid took all the pressure off. 

There is not one thing I had dreamed up in my entire life that could not have been destroyed by the response to this. 

rethink. 

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Write it down. Save it. Encourage family to pursue dreams. If the lights are on at 3 AM and they are writing, or building, bring them a snack. Call in to school for them. Celebrate those notions. Share. Keep dreams alive.  If you can't write a novel, is your idea a short story, or a poem? Contribute to the family.  Creativity can carry everyone.

I woke up drenched in sweat. I told my wife about the gist of the dream and she made sure I wrote it down. Not doing well. Not the worst thought to leave on. It was so bright in the middle of the night. Snow. Ever since I was a kid waiting for Christmas morning, I would wake up and look outside. If only everyday had two days, instead of a night and a day. 

Last page.

 My ramblings about illness point at the obvious.  There is always someone in worse shape. If I am incapacitated at any given moment, how do I help those worse off?