Blank Pages

Ezekiel, do you know in a story, when the character is dying and heading for the bright light, do you know what that light is? 

No, Author, I don't. Please let me finish my work? You created me for good reason.

That light is merely blank pages, waiting to be filled. 

Goodbye, Ezekiel.  

(excerpt from Author and the Untimelys, Mark Burkenbine)

Typo and all

 

Occam's Razor doesn't finish the job

Questioning weaponized absurdity only feeds it and makes it stronger

-------------------------------------------------

 I woke up on my bum left shoulder. Not good. Haven't slept on it for a month and a half, at least. Maybe my body was trying to get away from the back pain. I said to myself, "Self, ('cause that is what I call myself) -my back doesn't hurt. What's wrong?" ...but like that dog that gets lost on vacation in Florida but hitchhikes all the way to Anchorage to find its owner, back pain always finds its way. It's in the name.

---------------------------------------

We spend our lives putting a face to a voice and call that reality. (Flimsy)

------------------------------------------

Not everyone was meant to fly...but now they can

---------------------------------------

Autoimmune disease. Immune system attacking you by mistake. What if it isn't a mistake?

--------------------------------------

It is hard to get something out of a system you are discovering you are not a part of

----------------------------------------

I feel like using the word extrapolate in a sentence.

You never know the hell someone else is dealing with.

----------------------------------------

Lens falls out of my glasses again, (still rigged up since I sat on and bent the frames , months ago.)

I, being virtually blind WITH the glasses, look for hours with a flashlight in the dark for the tiny brown screw on the brown floor.

Wife wakes up, I explain, and she tells me to get her repair kit. She then tells me the screw is still in the frame and she is glad I didn't get on my hands and knees to look for it (cause I probably couldn't get back up).

Anyway, I can see some things better than others now.

Now for a Greek yogurt breakfast smoothie with my favorite live active cultures, and a handful of prescribed medications.

Mmmm. A good Monday to ya.

-------------------------------------------------

Some people think it is deliberate, but the trick is an artful life chooses you. There is no escaping.

---------------------------------------------------

Wife just asked "How is your life going?"

I said, " It has been as the legends foretold, my love."

---------------------------------------------------

Too many bridge burning incidents are assumed accidental when they are, in fact, well planned arson.

---------------------------------------------------

Fragility is apple and cinnamon instant oatmeal, made with water instead of milk.

Tragedy is adding the proper amount of chia seeds, after I misread the tablespoon/teaspoon thing for 2 weeks.

But it's good for me.

----------------------------------------------------

Just when you realize there is no more time for fuckups, you realize that is what time is for.

----------------------------------------------------

Legend in my own mind. Earnest. Never do the easy thing. Trade off...wound that never heals. War stories.

Quality of life? A man's just got to live long enough...

-------------------------------------------------------

A few days ago, my wife opened a box of crackers to find the individual tubes unsealed and not full.

Tonight, cooked a pot pie for an hour to find it empty and with no bottom crust.

Quality control runs amok

----------------------------------------------------

I woke up in the hospital, not knowing what hospital I was in. I did not know if I was transported to a bigger hospital for a surgery.... for all I knew, this was the afterlife. Some believe life just picks up in the same place after we pass...

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You are eating at the right burger joint when you watch a delivery from the butcher shop across the street.

--------------------------------------------------

Today I will be sporting , to the best of my abilities, a newly refurbished can-do attitude.

Today, the whole world smells of new car.

Feels like it would be foolish not to feel a touch depressed over current developments

 But one has to laugh at the preposterous 

Captains Log-health diary

 Pain still in left shoulder, but now right big toe swells up and joins in.  At least this is an old pain. It sucks, but I know what is coming. Probably the whole foot will blow up, and I need to go get a cheap size 12 4E shoe and cut out the toes and wear it with no shoestrings.  I normally wear a size 8. 

Can't use the walker with the shoulder and elbow and wrist iffy...crutch sucks.  May be time for a walking stick. My wife has suggested a motorized scooter. (Not happening, yet.) 

Psoriasis has been unusually subdued, but the layers of skin on my feet that are growing in and falling off is amazing.  I suppose that is psoriasis also. 

Do diets cause flair ups in various arthritic conditions? No need to answer. I will research it myself.  

I have been asked why I don't go to the doctor for all of this?  Because in a stretch like this, I would be there three times a week. Surely, it is the same thing, just moving around. My wife suggests making a list for the doc.

Looking forward to a return to creative writing...perhaps something not as humorous as real life.

Getting Old is Chronic (whiny filler post)

 Haven't posted for awhile. I have been keeping notes, so maybe I will be productive someday. Last few weeks my left shoulder and elbow blew up , (of course it did) so the keyboard is difficult to negotiate. 

Just got back from a big trip to see the family. 

Trying to figure out how to go see my brother, who has now been in the hospital for a month. 

On the plus side, our larger truck cart is here. The old one was breaking down. I can't get groceries and luggage without wheels to get them inside. 

I always say I never do the easy thing, but I realize I need to have the right tools to make carrying things possible.   Now to come up with a ramp for Amy's chair when I load it in the back of the van. 

Walked down the hall today, and suddenly felt like an electric shock in my ankle, and my foot just gave out. I caught myself on the wall.  It was fine a few moments later.   Wife and I talked about it and this is a sporadic thing that has happened, on several joints in my body, over the last ten years.   Wonderful wonderful.  

I have lots of these little things that I call getting old, which is a nice way to say I am not going to be getting better. 

I remember when I would have these bad stretches, but then I would have these amazing days of no pain...I remember that used to happen, but I don't know when it was. 

I would have cheese with my whine, but it is not allowed. 

drippingly earnest comedy

 I stopped drinking a few days ago, and gave up soda yesterday. 

When I was younger, I would have lost ten pounds already. 

What's the use? 

---------

When people underestimate me

I think of my little life

and the things I have been through

Maybe I am the only one who has ever

-Had a skunk run across his feet and spray him point blank in the face

-hit a deer

-and a bat (stuck in the windshield wiper)

---------------------------

Beautiful day. I am going for a walk. I don't care what the critics think. 

( a few hours later)

The critics were right. Made it a quarter mile and called Uber to send a rickshaw to get me on the walking trail. No phone service, and probably no rickshaw, anyway. Had to drag my own self back to the car.  Life without Naproxen is off to a slow start. 

-------------------------------

Fabians everywhere. 

------------------------------

It's a sad day. Put my hand in my pocket and pulled out a dollar bill. 

Had to confront the wife and ask who's been wearing my pants. 

------------------------------

Went to get groceries and a flash bowling tournament broke out....again. 

The aisles just make it a natural occurence. 

Just once, I would like to go bowling and a flash mob grocery shopping or teeth cleaning occurs. 

------------------------------

I have a disdain for control freaks

but they probably don't care what I think

--------------------------------

Breakfast. 

Oatmeal. Apple. Banana. Pomegranate juice. a square of 90% dark chocolate. 

Water w/ lots of prescription meds to make me healthy (?) enough to take more pills.

--------------------------------

No alcohol this week. 1 can of soda a day...maybe I can cut that to every other day. 

--------------------------------

Not sure if I am having pain in most joints because of water pill dehydrating and I'm making too much uric acid, 

naproxen withdrawal

alcohol withdrawal

or this is what arthritis feels like with zero painkillers. 

Either way....it is an issue.  I will keep trying to move, but the steps are getting smaller. 

Life is fascinating. 

....................

Notice all the ME in my blog. My longtime reader may remember that I write about me because I probably won't sue me.

-

Mister Blue Sky

 Got a tornado warning on my phone. Hundreds of miles of blue sky. That would be quite the surprise, I suppose. Is this a sharknado movie?

Probably a system test.

I read that six Dr. Seuss books are being discontinued because of how they treat people.  ???

Wishing my little brother well. He is ten hours away, going through quite the health ordeal. 

I had a follow up yesterday, while my brother was in the operating room, and the doctor tells me I'm too young for all these issues. I wanted to say "there are people with real problems."

To me, my health problems are small talk. Banter to discuss with friends and joke about. I've been falling apart forever. It's just what I do.

It's a beautiful day for a walk. If we aren't up for a walk, maybe we'll go watch other people move.

Have a good day. -Mark