The gift

 Ah. May this generation have a recognition, an appreciation, an understanding...

of the sweet sweet smell of weaponized absurdity.

A Grand Illusion supplies agency or it would not be grand.

Some of my social media activities

Hmm. I've been thinking about those New Year resolutions and I think I see the whole picture pretty clearly. I am going to leave me alone. Sure, I'd like more money and to be healthier but those seem like wishes in my current situation. I don't wish. As for improving my attitude and personality...stop taking my various writings out of context. I do look for the bright side and stay pretty jovial. Sometimes you have to ask yourself "Does the world deserve a better me? " Probably not.

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Nudity is a small part of my storytelling...I used to spend 100 plus nights a year in hotels. I usually kept the room ridiculously cold, and took hot, steamy showers. 5 or 6 times in my illustrious life, I stepped out of the shower and into the bedroom only to discover that excessive hot steam sets off smoke alarms. On one occassion, I was standing on the bed trying to stop the alarm when maintenance and the front desk attendant entered. Yep. I was Naked. The continental breakfast was awkward, but too good to stop going back to that hotel.

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 When the man-eating aliens land, the question that matters will be answered. Who tastes better- Vaxxed or unvaxxed? Maybe one tastes great and one is less filling

Maybe an adventurous alien will decide that two great tastes will taste great together

Too soon?

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Windows are open right now.

It's still 55 degrees on Christmas day, and the entire neighborhood must be smoking meat.

It's heaven. (Little h).

Peace on Earth....Good will

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Paying attention to world events can, and should, cause anal leakage.

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Every path leads to nationwide calisthenics at sunrise

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I feel so tall today. Hope it's just a 24 hour thing

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I have a ham problem. When you just set a roasting pan in the refrigerator, with foil on top...that one spot just unhooks and you just do that blind ham reach around....the next day my wife asks where half a ham goes...and the dog and I just shrug and say we stopped by the frig a couple of times.....and she asks how many is a couple....and I do the count in my head. 37 times in 12 hours.

I have a ham problem. Maybe, if it were put in something with a clear lid, so I could see just how shameful this is, I woulld....who am I kidding. If you shame me, I will eat more. Let this be a lesson to those who prepare the ham. Fix it the day of.

Hi. My name is Mark. I have a ham problem Today is day one of my struggle. So I have ribs in the oven now....and someone is frying bacon down the hall. Pork is NOT a problem.

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There are a lot of people out there that need a hug from someone who cares, but will only accept a hug from someone they deem acceptable...thus, the human condition explained. Commander Mcbragg puffs on his pipe, waxing philosophical

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A Grand Illusion supplies agency or it would not be grand.

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Social media was built to put a statement by T.S. Eliot to test.

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T.S. Eliot sounds nothing like Sam Elliott.

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While I was asleep, Germany and Japan read my blog.

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Merry Christmas to everybody except that prick that invented low fat eggnog.

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I used to set my alarm for 5 am, to unlock the doors of our building. A few times I woke up at 7,, and frantically ran out to the doors to find them unlocked. I would just look at the doors, puzzled. The manager says I must have unlocked them at 5, and I say "That is not my question. If I cannot remember unlocking the doors, I cannot remember if I had clothes on when I did it. "

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"My computer model can beat up your computer model" is how modern war is fought now. How long before the computer is playing both sides?

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One of these days, the bill will come due. By that, I mean, when we get the invoice for all that stolen music. Hell will be paved by those souls who thought they could get away with copyright infringement.

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After todays huge success on the Twitter, I think I'm cashing out and picking up my plastic spider ring from the redemption center and grabbing some celebratory fried chicken from a neighborhood grocer.

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I am not learned. Today, I type anyway.

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We are in a game of chicken, in autonomous vehicles inside of autonomous vehicles the size of planets, driven by "people" who have friendly wagers over the outcomes of our collisions. It's a grand old time for somebody.

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Say this aloud. Make it real whiny. "Why does the enemy keep doing that to me? Ow. " Sounds stupid, doesn't it?

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Too...much...dopamine. Argh. Must...return..to...usual ...social ...position

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Know When

 Woke up a little achy. That went away soon enough, and I started the day. Did a few household tasks. I was a little sharp on a question from my wife. Already outlined many thoughts for a story. Looked at the news. Felt like I was firing on all cylinders. There was more more more to do and I'm going to get it done, dammit.  

It feels good. 

Then I realized I hadn't taken my dozen medications for blood pressure and inflammation.

I miss being a tyrannical nitwit with all the energy and confidence in the world. It beats the hell out of being slow, sleepy, whiny and limited to the point that it doesn't matter how intelligent I actually am, there is no way out of a know when situation. 

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It's all a carnival of distraction. A Rube Goldberg machine. When most realize this, they want things to simplify...but when the carnival stops, it's  the simplest game of all. Live or die. 

Those that lived the hardest life, might enjoy the modern carnival. 

Be careful what you wish for. A hunger for greener grass may lead you to slaughter.

You have to be able to imagine yourself in someone else's shoes.  

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As always, this is here for those interested. (They do exist).  If you are not one of them, why are you wasting your time? 

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They keep saying Twitter is not a real place. Perhaps it is more real than the real we think we know.

To trend on twitter, you just need a well placed typo. Most of the world will understand the message, while a few control freaks will draw attention to themselves and their need to feel better than you. It's brilliant. Those in the know do it alllll the time

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That's enough for today.

The most intriguing thing...

 is one side of a conversation. 

No context. 

I don't mean two people having a one sided conversation. 

Just ignore one side, type the other, leave it alone. 

Ok. 

Maybe it is not everybody's cup of tea.

At least, not how I have presented it.

But this thing exists.

Hands still creaky...

 Posts will be intermittent at best for awhile. 

May have to do video or audio from here on out. 

Maybe my best work is behind me now.

 

A Thought

 On your drive 

to find your best you

you may discover

the best you

is to do 

everything in your power

to not let yourself be

your worst you

again

Gonna be a random cut and paste kind of day, update all day...

 Creaky hands today. so here is some social media roundup.

It is all about the small accounts

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Fascinating, the terminology some use. Apparently, there are some things that soap can't wash off...and some think that is a good thing.

********

In a country where you get charged a tire disposal fee, but can toss a used, germ filled, pandemic mandated mask in any old trashcan, or on the ground...but bad tests, no problem. Generic recall.

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I walked out of a hospital almost a decade ago with something better than a bucket list. A list of things I would never do again.

********

The internet is amazing

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My organ donations will have a salvage title.

*************

Too many reading my nonsense that needed writ that didn't need read but not reading what needs to be said

+++++++++

The Unfortunate Rake

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When the criminals run the show, truth and curiosity are now crime.

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It's hard (I'm told) to be Chance the Gardner of the Twitterverse, but it's all I'll ever know.

*********

There is a secret society of do-gooders that is sworn to not edit their mistakes, as a gift to unhappy control freaks who need to feel that superior moment. :) (Skulduggery)

+++++++++

If The Far Side were published today, it would be cancelled.

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For years,I've been wondering what that's like...to be duly noted. Now that Chick has been, I'm just going to make it my epitaph.

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To the guy who has his porn volume cranked to 50....DUDE, YOUR HEADPHONES AREN'T PLUGGED IN.

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if you are on twitter right now, you are in the Golden Age of random statements.

....................

So I was at work in a vacant home, and couldn't open the door to the attic. Suddenly this messed up, large stray cat jumps out of a hole in the wall at me. They say the high pitched girley scream probably saved my life.

*********

Some would call it shit, but one mans shit is another mans gold.

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The Grand Poobah would like to know exactly who you acquired this list from, and how.

//////////////

We all had a twin we ate in the womb/cage match to be born. We are always at war.

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You have come to the right place.

********

We all miss kresge and duck walls five and dime. The Dollar Store is the big box store in my neck of the woods, unless we go to Rolla. ( I call it Mt. Pilot, but nobody appreciates the reference.)

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Let me charge the power scooter

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What I love about a hall of fame, is they are built on the backs of very impressive people that weren't good enough. Greatness sees greatness, and raises the bar.

*******

Whoever wrote Shakespeare, was probably so fine a public speaker he knew his mouth would get him killed. Twain did some public speaking and lived...all set the table for standup philosophy

...........

I'm not sold yet. Are the seats leather? Will I be six again? So many questions...

******

The sunlight is gone, an hour early, and not one mention on twitter that the apocalypse is upon us?***********

Pray YE, to whatever god will listen.

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Bond Villains.

*******

Jowl is the good stuff. Write yourself a script of colchicine.

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When everyone feels it, it takes on the attributes of fictional quicksand, as we watch our humanity disappear, into the mire. Moral indignation. Being slighted. Often by one who feels supported on a loftier perch, saying to those below "aim higher", they often do just that

*******

If you slept til your phone woke you, maybe you gained an hour. For the rest of us who wake up at the same time regardless...There is an extra hour to deal with. I am not changing one fucking clock and everyone else will have to deal with it.

********

Good morning to all you people, places, things

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Kinda edgy today. Things to do. Thoughts to get in order. It's all surprisingly...life-like.

'''''''''''''''

Metaverse? So the idea is to leave the simulation we are in, for another one?

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Nobody knows more than they believe.

**********

I resemble that remark.

+++++++

Sure. There may be some scientific advances kept from the general public. But, we also may have been told we can do some things we cannot. I use the terms "we", "them", "us", etc...loosely. Much like I use the terms "liars" ,"charlatans", "scoundrels"...etc.

I use this language loosely, because it is how they use it on us.

====

Amen.

'''''''

Watched two vehicles drive side by side for ten miles today. It was a perfect test of the hypothesis, and I still think to pass someone you may have to be moving faster than they are.

*****

I never win any of the critics praise or the seasonal awards, despite my mass appeal and continued success.

.........

There are more than a few Thomas Jefferson quotes that are demanding attention

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I was hoping this'd be the day I'd contribute to the betterment of mankind. I'll be lucky to have time to do lunch & bowl. Maybe next week I can save the world. Until then, I will continue to breath the air that was probably meant for the successful people. wowsy wowsy woo woo

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So are the alternatives, political theatre, that is

*****

Oddly enough, we all feel that way.

=====

If everyone will just settle down and listen to the established institutions, everything will be just fine. Every now and then I have to discredit myself. Rules, ya know.

..........

Time to ponder health decisions. I almost asked someone what they would do if they were me. Then I realized I'm the only one qualified for this job because I am the only one who knows what being me even is.

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We discovered throwing grapes in a ceiling fan. Unfortunately, we had red grapes, and it was mother's white carpet " parlor room" that we weren't allowed in.

*****

Yes, but the lady was talking about children. I didn't want her to know this behavior can continue into "adulthood" and the ceiling fan fascination can extend to popcorn, hard candy and silverware from a loft in a residence in. ( it was awesome)

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kids connect the dots better than adults.

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So, if the climate changes for the worse for us, what will rise up and replace us? That is how this works, right?

*******

Personally, I can't wait for the reboot of Tenspeed and Brown Shoe

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After surviving a "rare side effect", I am feeling downright JOVIAL . Let the Twitterverse feel my JOLLY.

====

Now, whenever we are in trouble, the government can swoop in and save us? We should all send Big Gov a Christmas card.

*****

This makes my comorbidities nervous.

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Real question. Is anything on those boats worth having after being at sea for this long?

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Salutations

.....

I like it. No slack for level of difficulty. The artist chose to chisel a mountainside, he could at least do it right.

'''''''

I am the Ghost of Halloween Lame. I woke up from a nap and realized trick or treat started. So I made a sign that said Im an Old Cold Frog, put on a fedora and mumbled old blues songs to frighten happy children.

******

almost got a couple of sentences together in a coherent manner. Put a stop to that nonsense. Gets you nowhere.

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Descartes said to conquer yourself rather than the world. But I liked my chances against the world. To conquer myself, I need to pack a lunch and bring some friends. This ends badly.

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Tin Foil Hat Day

******

Halloween. An interesting festival for a race of Golem or Avatars to participate in. Simulation, movie, or video game?

++++++

How now, Ahriman?

...........

"Accidentally "

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45 years after kindergarten, a staggering percentage of the kids in my class were now 50 years old.

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If the big accounts don't post for a few days, does the account just kinda go dormant?

******

go to trade school

********

Ssshh. Do you hear that? It is the sound of me almost saying something important...ok. It is gone now. That was 30 seconds of your life. Have a sugary drink.

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That is pushing the "Fuck around and find out" button. Lot of that going on.

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She knows what she is doing. They all do. It's a wrecking crew.

*******

Some people are not ready for the word wetware

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I wonder what that's like...to be duly noted

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Dude,they all have a podcast.

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After 53 years as CEO of ME, I am stepping down from the position. The board of directors will make an announcement soon concerning the replacement. #TermLimits

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I've picked a bad day to quit naproxen

********

Trying to think of something random to say

--------

Too soon

''''''''''

Oh. We aren't supposed to notice...

*****

I just set here at the desk like a Cliff Clavin wannabee

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You only remember the great opening to the great story. There are lots of great openings that go into the world of Forgettable. Why does there have to be two T's in forgettable?

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Damn language traps.

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There are an awful lot of potential Bond villains that will challenge that statement.

/////

Don't hate the player. Hate the guy that wrote the playbook. Nah. It's ok to not love either.

*****

Yesterday is gone. The future does not exist. There is only now.

Unless...you can work to change things through generations of your family. Then, you can mold everything like it was clay.

******

It just says "Logic is of no use here". People keep hanging on to how it was yesterday. I have asked for years how long would someone live in a futuristic dystopia before they realized it was always now...

'''''''

It takes all kinds...

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I don't think we see the faces at the top.

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If we are allowed to talk among ourselves, it would be the best conversation I have had in years. Camp could be fun.

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If everyone would quit tweeting about him, would he disappear ? Serious question. Nothing surprises me about where his money comes from or who he is in bed with.

*******

What color horse does he ride? I'm more interested in where they get their orders.

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Well, I have said a few things on other peoples accounts. The morning session is now over. This afternoon I will do a 20 post thread about about how rocks are conscious and have seen some shit. I will then joke about why nobody follows me, but most will think I am serious.

.........

16k tweets, and still no profit sharing, no gold watch, no pension

it's almost like they just want blue checkmark corporate accounts and advertising and the rest of us are just supposed to buy things and do what the cool people tell us...

=====

no control group, no crime?

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Remove the talking head, another replaces it and continues the same process. It never stops.

*****

Before you know it, just thinking that will be one of the crimes

*******

It's up to him to respond, but what happens in Walmart, stays in Walmart , as far as I am concerned

*******

Philip K Dick

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Minority report for earnings

'''''''

Ah Technology. What did we, the people, gain from it?

=====

f I could edit my tweets, I would go back and insert MORE typos. Because I care. If people understood you, even with your mistakes, the communication worked. People that point out your mistakes have a complex. Leaving those mistakes for them is the best gift you can give.

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