Hi. I'm Mark Burkenbine.  Welcome to my self help blog.

I am offering you all the advice you will ever need , and will affirm that advice with numbers I have pulled out of my own ass--  That is right--Just like a real self help guru.

Did you know that 6 ouf of 5 people need a self help guru to show them how to tie their own shoe laces?

Buy my 7 part series on THE TIED SHOE for a mere $99 an episode, or 3 EASY payments of $45 each, per episode.  Additional episodes may be added to the contract. Not available in Canada. Those people know how to tie there shoes.  Deal only available in the United States.

Are you fat, ugly, slow, addicted to food, sex, cigarettes, porn, crazy eyed women,binge shopping,breathing, yellow pencils, or pina colodas?   Give my self help courses a try. Everybody needs to pay for self help or millions of gurus will be out of work.

*Author is completely full of crap, not a real offer or advertisement, but if you are stupid enough to believe this shouldn't you lose your money?

--Mark Burkenbine