Feelings of Discomfort by Burkenbine

Traditional gifts for  untraditional sentiments.  We all have our Feelings  of Discomfort, why dodge it?  

Unforgettable moments and special issues need cards also.  

Topics include:

Thinking of you

 for neighbors or co workers  -  I see you almost everyday and I really don't like you at all, but I wouldn't wish that on anyone. Hope things work out for you and your family.

 for the Ex.....I can still feel your love. It burns when I pee.

Thank you notes

Thanks for making dinner. Have you seen sparky?

For your doctor.  Prostate exam--  I'm not sure of the protocol, but , can we be friends?

Wedding

Congratulations!  It will work this time

Memories

Hunting/camping/road trip

"Hey, remember when you drank my spit cup?"

"Hey , remember when you drank my pee cup?"

Apologies

 I didn't know my webcam was on.   Um, I got hacked.  

Infidelity

Roses are red, 

Violets are blue

your real father is the milkman

"Her name is  (insert stripper name), I was drunk.  I don't think I used the babymaker..."

and many other traditional and miscellaneous uncomfortable  topics to choose from. Such as...

"So, is your daughter 21?"

"So , is your wife happily married?"

Same sex--"are you happily married?"

Same sex--"So, I saw you in the restroom. you want to be friends?"

After death of spouse

"Did you have insurance? Would you like to have dinner?  Too soon?"

My personal favorite-

"Honey, that is really hot. Is that a new vibrator?"       "No dear, I found it in that dresser your mother gave us. "

"Nice to meet you. What is your porn name?"

-Slogans can be customized.   Next time you have a Feeling of Discomfort, let it fester a little and pass it around.   

Life is good.

The previous information is a real business that occasionally uses real jokes.  

Mark Burkenbine sometimes is Blackie South Eleventh.   I had a choice of Blackie South 11th, or Ruffie Rural Route 1 for a porn name.

mburkenbine@gmail.com  for information on how to place orders.