In Karma's Web

The scene is an old downtown cafe in Little Town U.S.A.   The cafe is bustling during Saturday breakfast, with the waitresses skillfully navigating the plates  between the booths and tables, even with the occasional foot sticking out in the aisle.

Ham, eggs, bacon and sausage seem to be on every plate, with eggs, of course.

In the middle of the dining area are two farmers discussing next seasons crops and of course, planning for their  livestock entries into the state fair.

They are enjoying their time together, discussing old fair victories over coffee, breakfast and the newspaper.

What they don't realize is the sudden quiet and emptiness of the cafe.

Shift to the taller building across the street and you will see a sight you indeed would not be looking for.  A short pig is climbing the fire ecape. A pig with an eye patch, a black trench coat and a snipers rifle.  Clearly mercenary in nature, but with a deep conviction  for this particular job.

In the cafe, the two gentlemen look around and realize they are alone, except for a large old rat in a very stylish leather overcoat and beret.  The rat is in the corner booth, and says in a mocking tone," you know I found the pesticides in her corner. "

The farmer nervously says," I don't know what you are talking about. It was natural causes."

The rat says, " Willie, he did not take kindly to the news. He was grateful for what you did for him, even though you ate his Uncle. He had been in the Sudan for quite some time, but found time to come back home.   By the way, you should finish those hashbrowns. One more bite of bacon and this may not be as clean as planned"

The farmers got up and came toward the well dressed rat.  He calmly spoke the word "clear" into his cell phone and it was over. Two shots.

The rat finished the toast and hashbrowns , smiled his big toothed smile and said to the corpses "Salutations, bitches."

The pig and the rat drive away, a last wish fulfilled.

 The final  message in the web was 'Avenge Me!'.

--Mark Burkenbine

Written 11/12/13 by Mark Burkenbine  copyright 2013

Marketing to Zombies: Opportunity exists.

Marketing and Sales to Zombies. There is always an opportunity for someone.

In a study of Zombies, corporate research has shown that they like bright pink and purple. It calms them, as does disco music.
They are efficient at slow moving, repetitive motions. Factory shift work has begun in many sectors.
When the walls of the factory are painted pink and purple, with disco dance music playing through speakers, productivity rates continue to soar.
In this situation, training for all mundane tasks can begin.

Feed them human beef, made from the homeless. The homeless rate will skyrocket as humans are either eaten or the virus mutates them.  Pay them less than you do the illegal immigrants, but feed them better. The ten year food supply looks to be stocked well.

They will quickly create their own monetary and social systems and individual herds to market products to.   Soon they will have their own entertainment and fashion industry to occupy their free time between work shifts.

The bright pink and purple fashion industry will explode. Snazzy preppy outfits of this color will be desired by mummies and zombies alike, but they will be necessities for humans that want to stay off the menu.

 Expect music groups from the 70's and 80's to make huge comebacks.

A Zombie Apocalypse is a marketers dream.  But, so are all forms of Apocalypse.  Before Jesus walks the earth again, there would be 4 Hor$emen trading cards. There would be T shirts of a horseman holding his crotch with a slogan of  " I got your Apocalypse right here, baby."

In the meantime, Zombies become a powerful political faction, but they look down on werewolves and vampires.   These creatures have a bias against Zombies as well.   To a Werewolf or Vampire, Zombies offer no nutritional value. Zombies are the junk food,  the high fructose corn syrup of prey.  They move so temptingly slow, but they taste bad, they smell bad....yet, somehow you can't eat just one.
After a generation of eating Zombies, the vampires and werewolves get slow and fat.  Their eyes bug out , skin itches and they get testy.  Now the market for substance abuse centers for eating zombies opens up. There will be 12 step programs.

Opportunity is everywhere, all the time.

Happy Halloween

Mark Burkenbine
www.allthingsburkenbine.com