As I spread my holiday cheer throughout the world,
 I think of the things I have to be thankful for.
This morning I am thankful for Amy and her family
, and of course all my kids, father ,brother and friends.
I am thankful I can remember my mother like she is still here.
 I am thankful for everyone's attempt to understand.
 I am thankful for all the chances I have had to experience this wonderful thing called life.
The good and the bad.
 I whine a lot, but It is usually a deadpan joke. I assure you, I have seen a lot more good than bad.

I apologize for the cruel thanksgiving displays of celebration. To those that do not recognize this particular holiday...too bad. Your loss.  For me, it is about being thankful for what you have right now. It doesn't have to be religious or a national day of pride.  Every day can be a thanksgiving for anyone.

...Today, in particular, I am thankful for muscle relaxers, anti inflammatories , tens units, and of course--black coffee and rum.

Yesterday, I broke a sweat eating breakfast.  I am so out of shape, chewing is now my only calorie burning exercise. .    I didn't realize I was going to need a training program to make it through the Thanksgiving dinner marathon. I should've started with the two piece meal at KFC about 6 months ago, and worked my way up to a bucket.    I will have to remember to stretch and hydrate to keep from cramping...start slow.

My new tin can candle and greeting card line.  Feelings of Discomfort.

Marketing to Zombies: Opportunity exists.

Marketing and Sales to Zombies. There is always an opportunity for someone.

In a study of Zombies, corporate research has shown that they like bright pink and purple. It calms them, as does disco music.
They are efficient at slow moving, repetitive motions. Factory shift work has begun in many sectors.
When the walls of the factory are painted pink and purple, with disco dance music playing through speakers, productivity rates continue to soar.
In this situation, training for all mundane tasks can begin.

Feed them human beef, made from the homeless. The homeless rate will skyrocket as humans are either eaten or the virus mutates them.  Pay them less than you do the illegal immigrants, but feed them better. The ten year food supply looks to be stocked well.

They will quickly create their own monetary and social systems and individual herds to market products to.   Soon they will have their own entertainment and fashion industry to occupy their free time between work shifts.

The bright pink and purple fashion industry will explode. Snazzy preppy outfits of this color will be desired by mummies and zombies alike, but they will be necessities for humans that want to stay off the menu.

 Expect music groups from the 70's and 80's to make huge comebacks.

A Zombie Apocalypse is a marketers dream.  But, so are all forms of Apocalypse.  Before Jesus walks the earth again, there would be 4 Hor$emen trading cards. There would be T shirts of a horseman holding his crotch with a slogan of  " I got your Apocalypse right here, baby."

In the meantime, Zombies become a powerful political faction, but they look down on werewolves and vampires.   These creatures have a bias against Zombies as well.   To a Werewolf or Vampire, Zombies offer no nutritional value. Zombies are the junk food,  the high fructose corn syrup of prey.  They move so temptingly slow, but they taste bad, they smell bad....yet, somehow you can't eat just one.
After a generation of eating Zombies, the vampires and werewolves get slow and fat.  Their eyes bug out , skin itches and they get testy.  Now the market for substance abuse centers for eating zombies opens up. There will be 12 step programs.

Opportunity is everywhere, all the time.

Happy Halloween

Mark Burkenbine
www.allthingsburkenbine.com