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Crap.
All Things Burkenbine, alias Blackie South Eleventh.
The startling story of a man making a lack of direction his niche. Songs with no music( aren't those poems?). Fictional stories with no follow up posted. No follow ups to anything. . Social media posting of his favorite sandwich and snacks. Autobiographical stories and life updates. Drawings from out of the blue. Partial business plans. I think a few of these are meant to be radio shows.Masquerading as variety, All Things Burkenbine and Blackie South Eleventh are purposely meant to bring new meaning to the adult contemporay/ alternative/ Miscellaneous uncategorized category.
All Things Burkenbine.
Conform to know one. Figure out how to be good at what you do.
Make the unmarketable successful.
Enjoy your job search!
Showing posts with label #findwork. Show all posts
Showing posts with label #findwork. Show all posts
Saturday, November 30, 2013
Black Coffee and Rum
Black Coffee and Rum
I'm picking my life apart
going to keep the good things I've had
say goodbye to the sad
But saying goodbye to the sad
things in life
doesn't really work so well
a restraining order is sometimes necessary
and some of this stuff you will meet again in hell
<Today I am thankful for
muscle relaxers anti inflammatories a tens unit and of course
black coffee and rum
so I am half looped and half realizing
where all this crap has come from
and I am still hurting, in a state of
uncomfortably dumb>
Shit happens and there's no place to go
you can't run from a bad decision
but most people give it a helluva try
in the end, the damned things will find their owner
every god forsaken time
The more you run the more that lost dog wants to come home
It will tear your world apart, it will piss on every overturned stone
Stupidity runs rampant in my family
probably yours to
take a look at your family tree
and see if someone elses crap finds you
that sins of the father stuff
is mostly true
my neck is killing me
heading to work
may have to make a few more rights to avoid the hard lefts
damn.
Sometimes left is right. Sometimes to write is wrong.
Someday everything you ever knew will be gone
while I am waxing poetic, something to think about
for every toy you own that you did not earn
is another generation that will make sure you burn
Today I am thankful for muscle relaxers, anti inflammatories, a tens unit and
of course, black coffee and rum
So I am half looped and half realizing
where all this crap is coming from
and I'm still hurting, in a state of
uncomfortably dumb
Remember, pain is just another way to know you are still alive.
But hey, I gotta be me. Spread the cheer
written, published and owned by Mark Burkenbine November 28, 2013
copyright 2013 Mark Burkenbine
Thursday, November 28, 2013
As I spread my holiday cheer throughout the world,
I think of the things I have to be thankful for.
This morning I am thankful for Amy and her family
, and of course all my kids, father ,brother and friends.
I am thankful I can remember my mother like she is still here.
I am thankful for everyone's attempt to understand.
I am thankful for all the chances I have had to experience this wonderful thing called life.
The good and the bad.
I whine a lot, but It is usually a deadpan joke. I assure you, I have seen a lot more good than bad.
I apologize for the cruel thanksgiving displays of celebration. To those that do not recognize this particular holiday...too bad. Your loss. For me, it is about being thankful for what you have right now. It doesn't have to be religious or a national day of pride. Every day can be a thanksgiving for anyone.
...Today, in particular, I am thankful for muscle relaxers, anti inflammatories , tens units, and of course--black coffee and rum.
Yesterday, I broke a sweat eating breakfast. I am so out of shape, chewing is now my only calorie burning exercise. . I didn't realize I was going to need a training program to make it through the Thanksgiving dinner marathon. I should've started with the two piece meal at KFC about 6 months ago, and worked my way up to a bucket. I will have to remember to stretch and hydrate to keep from cramping...start slow.
My new tin can candle and greeting card line. Feelings of Discomfort.
I think of the things I have to be thankful for.
This morning I am thankful for Amy and her family
, and of course all my kids, father ,brother and friends.
I am thankful I can remember my mother like she is still here.
I am thankful for everyone's attempt to understand.
I am thankful for all the chances I have had to experience this wonderful thing called life.
The good and the bad.
I whine a lot, but It is usually a deadpan joke. I assure you, I have seen a lot more good than bad.
I apologize for the cruel thanksgiving displays of celebration. To those that do not recognize this particular holiday...too bad. Your loss. For me, it is about being thankful for what you have right now. It doesn't have to be religious or a national day of pride. Every day can be a thanksgiving for anyone.
...Today, in particular, I am thankful for muscle relaxers, anti inflammatories , tens units, and of course--black coffee and rum.
Yesterday, I broke a sweat eating breakfast. I am so out of shape, chewing is now my only calorie burning exercise. . I didn't realize I was going to need a training program to make it through the Thanksgiving dinner marathon. I should've started with the two piece meal at KFC about 6 months ago, and worked my way up to a bucket. I will have to remember to stretch and hydrate to keep from cramping...start slow.
My new tin can candle and greeting card line. Feelings of Discomfort.
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
In Karma's Web
The scene is an old downtown cafe in Little Town U.S.A. The cafe is bustling during Saturday breakfast, with the waitresses skillfully navigating the plates between the booths and tables, even with the occasional foot sticking out in the aisle.
Ham, eggs, bacon and sausage seem to be on every plate, with eggs, of course.
In the middle of the dining area are two farmers discussing next seasons crops and of course, planning for their livestock entries into the state fair.
They are enjoying their time together, discussing old fair victories over coffee, breakfast and the newspaper.
What they don't realize is the sudden quiet and emptiness of the cafe.
Shift to the taller building across the street and you will see a sight you indeed would not be looking for. A short pig is climbing the fire ecape. A pig with an eye patch, a black trench coat and a snipers rifle. Clearly mercenary in nature, but with a deep conviction for this particular job.
In the cafe, the two gentlemen look around and realize they are alone, except for a large old rat in a very stylish leather overcoat and beret. The rat is in the corner booth, and says in a mocking tone," you know I found the pesticides in her corner. "
The farmer nervously says," I don't know what you are talking about. It was natural causes."
The rat says, " Willie, he did not take kindly to the news. He was grateful for what you did for him, even though you ate his Uncle. He had been in the Sudan for quite some time, but found time to come back home. By the way, you should finish those hashbrowns. One more bite of bacon and this may not be as clean as planned"
The farmers got up and came toward the well dressed rat. He calmly spoke the word "clear" into his cell phone and it was over. Two shots.
The rat finished the toast and hashbrowns , smiled his big toothed smile and said to the corpses "Salutations, bitches."
The pig and the rat drive away, a last wish fulfilled.
The final message in the web was 'Avenge Me!'.
--Mark Burkenbine
Written 11/12/13 by Mark Burkenbine copyright 2013
Ham, eggs, bacon and sausage seem to be on every plate, with eggs, of course.
In the middle of the dining area are two farmers discussing next seasons crops and of course, planning for their livestock entries into the state fair.
They are enjoying their time together, discussing old fair victories over coffee, breakfast and the newspaper.
What they don't realize is the sudden quiet and emptiness of the cafe.
Shift to the taller building across the street and you will see a sight you indeed would not be looking for. A short pig is climbing the fire ecape. A pig with an eye patch, a black trench coat and a snipers rifle. Clearly mercenary in nature, but with a deep conviction for this particular job.
In the cafe, the two gentlemen look around and realize they are alone, except for a large old rat in a very stylish leather overcoat and beret. The rat is in the corner booth, and says in a mocking tone," you know I found the pesticides in her corner. "
The farmer nervously says," I don't know what you are talking about. It was natural causes."
The rat says, " Willie, he did not take kindly to the news. He was grateful for what you did for him, even though you ate his Uncle. He had been in the Sudan for quite some time, but found time to come back home. By the way, you should finish those hashbrowns. One more bite of bacon and this may not be as clean as planned"
The farmers got up and came toward the well dressed rat. He calmly spoke the word "clear" into his cell phone and it was over. Two shots.
The rat finished the toast and hashbrowns , smiled his big toothed smile and said to the corpses "Salutations, bitches."
The pig and the rat drive away, a last wish fulfilled.
The final message in the web was 'Avenge Me!'.
--Mark Burkenbine
Written 11/12/13 by Mark Burkenbine copyright 2013
Monday, October 21, 2013
Heinrich
Each episode our two hero's discuss the difference between being Agnostic and Atheist. Hugo speaks in a very distinct ,male German- ish dialect known all through the land as "I will rule the world speak". Heinrich speech will vary. It could be no accent at all and be American female. Many episodes will have Hugo refer to Heinrich as a typical male Atheist, to which Heinrich will reply with american female voice, "God Dammit I am not an atheist.". Heinrich then replies, "tsk tsk. You Atheists don't believe in anything. "
In every episode,there is a scene where Heinrich and Hugo are setting in a bar. Hugo is always in those assless chaps , cowboy boots, shirt and hat. Heinrich is always asking" is this where a burly popular country singer from Oklahoma beats us soundly like we enjoy so much? Please? "
At the end of every Episode, Heinrich is in bed, in the dark and you hear Heinrich say to Hugo questioningly (Hugo is in another room--they are just compatriots, after all)
" Hugo, are the professional bowlers ok?"
Hugo replies " I am sure they are fine.
Heinrich " They are soo strong. They deserve to make more money"
Hugo" If you say so. Goodnight."
The hit comedy-musical cartoon comic book live radio show' Hugo, the Agnostic Cowboy' coming to a theater near you.
Thank you for your time
Mark Burkenbine
Put me on Wikipedia
Big Twits: Make me one of the 140 characters of your life
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